The reason behind the posts today. :)

I'm not in love. I just want to write things like those that I have posted earlier. I don't know. I just feel like it.

For the past three years I have been this girl who 'fears commitments'. I mean, yeah. I am really afraid of having intimate relationships with any opposite sexes. It happened after the worst break up I have experienced before. After that great event, I didn't see myself settling for anyone. 

In the course of my existence, even though I fear having relationships (not only with opposite sex actually, it also made me have a hard time to make friends with anyone .. really!) I still manage to try to at least socialize with anyone. At first it wasn't easy. I'd rather have no one by my side than have someone who would just hurt me. In terms of opposite sex, I have been into them as well. I had a crush and I fell in love. .. but I never settled with anyone after that last someone. I am more on having flings and mutual understandings, and that's it. For me, that's more practical. I don't have to attend too much with them. I don't have the right to get hurt and be attached too much. That was cool, but not necessarily safe. I still have this tendency of being hurt, but I find it minimal than which I have experienced before. 

Well, I have this strange feeling inside me .. I can't figure it out. I was really fond of dreaming about having someone with me right now. Does it mean I am now ready again to accept and engage myself into a relationship? Does it indicate that the fear I had with me for the past three years is now gone?