It's hard to forget people who left you a lot of songs to remember, right? Well, those people are worth the cherish .. but most of them are bound to leave. Yeah, it hurts but .. it's true. And when you hear those songs you've shared before .. you'll just see yourself reminiscing everything and trying to stop every tear that would fall in you cheek.

Always,

change the date to Nov. 30th.

I remembered the first semester from first year until the first semester in second year. 

Friday is my last tiresome day. 

Saturday is supposed to be my rest day. 

Sunday has been the most stressful day. 

Monday is they day I fear most. 

Tuesday sucks.

Wednesday lowers the tension.

Thursday is the most awaited day. 

Now, it's different. My schedules are a lot more lighter .. and the subjects too. I love it this way. :))

I'm always like this. hahaha!

So True.

Things are possible in dreams.

Try to look beyond what your eyes can see.

Lately, I have been fantasizing about my death. I imagine throwing myself off a high place. I dream of seeing a lot of blood flow out of my veins. I think of swallowing every sleeping pill I have until I won't wake up anymore. Sometimes I see myself doing it at school, sometimes at home. But I more like it to do at school. I want every people there to realize that I've done such thing because of them. No, it's not that i really blame them about everything. I more like blame myself .. that's why I will end up quitting that way. I just want them to see what they want to see. They want me gone, I want myself gone too. 

Each day, I am close to doing it... but when I remember the Lord, I end up throwing the idea out of my head. I wonder if I killed myself, I would still have the privilege to enter heaven. They say I wouldn't. Killing myself is a huge sin. When I think about of taking my life, I fear that I will end up experiencing an everlasting pain in hell. I don't want that. I want to quit because I can't take the pains anymore .. but if I'll undergo more pain after it, it's better to stay here and just do things that would earn me the happiness I have long been wishing for. I'll just have to wait, and while waiting, I'll have to do good things and serve the Lord. That's what I have to do. I should not take something that isn't mine in the first place, which is, my life. 

This motivates me to choose to live. I don't know how far it would go, but I swear .. I would take suicide in the last lists of my options. I will not quit. I will not say never, but I'll try my very best not to.

PLEASE, BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS.

wonderful. ♥

I wish I had someone like this too.

They are mostly something I don't have the courage to say. :/

I hope it would be better.

will there be someone out there who'd love me no matter what?

I AM HAPPY AT HOME.

I AM TOTALLY RUINED AT SCHOOL.

Last Thursday, my sister told me that she needs to email her project to her teacher. So I tried to open hid email address, but then I failed. I have no other choice but to change her password. The process have not taken that long. At the end of the procedure .. as I was about to celebrate the success of changing to a new password .. something caught my eye. In the upper right side of the window, there is a message box which says, "Ready to move on?". I thought it was something like an advertisement or what ... but it was there for a purpose. .. it was the last button I have to click. Well, other than that .. it also had another purpose ... to literally ask me if I'm ready to move on. hahaha! Life just goes like that. Simple things you thought have nothing to do with you actually have. Yes, I may be translating or interpreting it the other way around .. but what matters is that how it work for me. Well .. I could say that I have moved on now on some other things. When I say I do, I really do. But it took a lot of time and courage to do it. Oh well, at the end of it, thanks for that amazing reminder in yahoo mail. :)))

I have print screen that window but unfortunately it was deleted. :/ But swear this did happened.

I want to burst into tears again. I want to shout. I really wish I have someone to talk to right now. I don't know how long I could take this inside. But whenever I feel sad, there's no one around. Every people seems so distant. No one's interested. No one's ready to listen. No one is good enough to give away comfort. This sucks. This really sucks.

Life is a lot more colorful. :))

Ang pangit ko na nga, lalo pa kong pumangit. Eyebags, tapos umiyak pa ko .. hay. Badtrip naman o! Wala na talaga akong pag-asang gumanda pa!

I AM HURT 

I CRY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

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I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO

I AM TOTALLY ALONE

EVERYONE HATES ME