Kahit alam kong lamang ako sa kanya…
Meron pa rin siya na wala ako - IKAW

I wanna do this. Really.

sad. lonely. depressed. suicidal. pathetic. worthless. useless. meaningless. nothing. gross. fat. disgusting. failure. unimportant. disgrace. ugly. awkward. shy. stupid. confused. consumed. forgotten. fragile. dumb. emotional. forgotten. empty. hateful. hopeless. insecure. labeled. judged. misunderstood. numb. nervous. quiet. scared. suffering. dead

My aunt is dead for 7 days now, .... and well .. I think it's supposed to be me. Yeah, it's me that should be there lying quietly on her coffin. I should be the one taken .. not her. There are a lot more people who needs her, most especially her children. But me? No one needs me. No one even cares about me. I don't matter to anyone. I don't do anything that is good. I am such a trash. I should be there. I am supposed to be in her place.

Akong ako eh. :D

Eto lang gusto kong gawin .. wala ng iba.

Sana pwede ko na lang sabihin sayo yung mga nararamdaman ko. Like ngayon, namimiss kita .. sobra .. parang naloloka na ko kakaisip. Gusto kong sabihn sayo yun pero alam mo yun .. kahit simpleng yun lang mahirap pa. Kasi .. kasi... nakakainis yung ganito. Wala akong magawa . .. naiiyak na lang tuloy ako. Hay. Bakit naman kasi?! Bakit ikaw pa?! Antanga ko talaga kahit kailan .... :/

I am currently hearing a baby's cry and well ... I am getting paranoid. haha! One of these days ... ah .... forget about it! :/

"I'm stressed, I need sex." I wonder if someone would have sex with me when I say this. LOL

I've re-written my notes in Psychology from last semester, and I saw there that sex is one of the factors for stress management. This means that sex could actually make someone feel better. Now, I'm stressed. But I didn't say I want to have sex right now. Of course, my professor had given us a lot more choices for stress management other than sex, so I have no excuse. hahahaha!

I've just thought, when will be my first? I don't mean anything horny about it, I've just thought about it, which I find natural. I really wonder how, when and with whom will I finally open the gates. hahaha!

"Save the last first sex for HIM". I wonder who will be that "him". Honestly, I have an eye on this someone (of course, I love him) but well ... I could only have it on my dreams. He's already been used by this other woman (whom he loves. ouch, it hurts.) Whenever I think of this, I feel sad. Not that I really want to have sex with him, it's just that I want to hug him, kiss him and wake up in the morning with him beside me. That's my dream. Really. I may sound so stupid right now, but it's all I want. I even want to wish this would happen at least for a day. But that would never be enough. Well, I'll just have to settle on it, if I ever got the chance. At least one day was given to me. I will make sure I will be able to show him how much I love him.

Now back to sex, I have read these lines a while ago .. "Do it only with the best." and "Never say no." I really plan doing it with the best man for me out there. But .... I hope I could wait. LOL. For now, I only want to have it with this man I love. Only with him. He's the best for me ... :'( For the second quote, I plan to do it with my husband someday .. (again, I insist. I want it to be him. aaaaahhhhH!!!!!) As long as I could, I will never say no. Well, it isn't unfair by the way, because we will both benefit with what we would do. Of course, we do it because we love each other and we want ourselves to enjoy it and be happy. So why say "no" right?!

This is the first time I have talked about this thing, and I think I shouldn't stop myself because sex is natural. There's nothing wrong with it, unless someone puts it into a dirty context. I don't feel like doing it right now, believe it or not. I just want to talk about it. That's all. haha!

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

All the good ones are taken.

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

Nakakatawang isipin na di na ako nasanay sayo. Alam ko namang di ka kailanman tumupad sa mga sinasabi mo .. wala ka ngang nagagawa e .. pero bakit ganun .. naghihintay pa rin ako. Ang boba ko talaga. Ako na talaga! hahahaha!