I'M SORRY FOR THAT, BUT I'M TIRED OF LIES AND USED TO INSULTS.

ACCEPT IT. RIGHT NOW. HE'S NEVER COMING BACK, AND HE DOESN'T DESERVE A COME BACK EITHER.

I've browsed some of my older posts in 2012 ... and I end up crying. The hurt was not here, though I pity myself for loving a man who doesn't even care. I'll get through this one day. And if we'll ever meet again, I'd swear he'd see how wonderful I've been without him .... 

Seriously.

But I don’t care about just anyone. 
I care about you.
And I wonder if you think of me even half as much as I think of you… 

We should love, not fall in love. Because everything that falls, gets broken.

— Taylor Swift

And that's when I knew our relationship is not valuable at all to you. Is there any relationship in the first place?

I woke up at 9am and resisted the urge to turn on the computer. So I've read a book and do some jigsaw puzzle. I don't know what's with me, that here I am now ... typing and browsing the internet. 

Lately, I've noticed that I'm becoming too attached with my computer. It's as if my day isn't complete without seeing its radiance in front of me. I am fortunate because I have been aware of it immediately. Now, I have to think of ways on how to stop myself clinging to this too much.

Like I've said earlier, I do reading and jigsaw-puzzling. Other than that, my life is a total boredom. I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone whom I can openly tell what the hell was going on with my life. Though I'm living normally and a bit happily right now, it seems my days tend to be colorless as it passes by. The problem, of course, was always with me. 

It's not hard (for everyone I suppose) to find someone whom he could share anything with. It's different with me. After the first and last man I've entrusted my whole life with, I don't know and I'm not planning of doing the same ever again. Not just because I fear the judgment, or the gossips. What I fear most is what it could possibly bring about .... attachment. I am preventing myself in building deeper relationships again. And I've just realized how poor a person I am, and how coward I am to decide that way. If only there would be someone who's willing to break these chains around me and make me feel that I'm free to speak and he's there to listen and comfort me and be with me. Fortunately, there's none. And I end up each day having only my computer, and you, blog ... to be with me in my happiest and most difficult times .... 

places i want to be with YOU before i die. :) #93

GA, THIS PLACE.IT SHOULD BE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. ... WILL IT EVER HAPPEN ???