It's TEARS DAY today. T_____T

You told me that in texting, you'll miss the other person more. How about when there's no means of communication at all?

He chose me to be out of his life .. and it sucks.

You've made me feel happy like no one else could .. and then, after that day ... you told me to stop communicating with you. It's unfair, you know? I didn't had a single clue. Or, let's just say that you've showed all the hints, but I chose to ignore it. Ok, my fault. You win.

I don't know what I'm gonna do for the next days.

I mean, I've been used to talking with you, that it's all I want to do the whole day.
Now is the first day of change.

I don't really know how to get you out of my own schedule, when you really are the only one that is important in it.

My life is incomplete for the nth time around, but I swear I'll work this out as soon as possible.

I don't want to be left behind.

I don't want you to see me falling apart while you were enjoying your life without me in it anymore.

I want you to see that without you, I'll be strong.

But for now, excuse me for feeling this way. 

I hope you know me, that I'm not used to changes like this.

I could handle any change, except like this .. the change that I never thought would happen in reality and not just in my nightmares.

The sudden change of you getting me out of your life.

I'm TIRED. (T)icked off. (I)rritated. (R)eady to cry. (E)xtremely upset. (D)one.

You ... left me... just when I need you most.

The feeling when you are in the middle of a good story and realize no one is listening to you. :/

Yes, she's hurt. And her heart is the most abused part. It has taken so much beating, been broken a lot of times. Crushed, dumped, and disregarded. But still, she smiles.
Isn't she amazing?

Yes, you've proven me you're different .. like what you told me before. You may be like them by leaving me behind, but you have your own way, which makes you different from everybody else. You know how. Very simple. You bid the most painful goodbye ever. :/

I needed you. 

I need your arms around me.

I need you to hold me. 

I want to hear from you that someday, we'll be together.

 

This photo perfectly laid it all. 

In logic, our professor told us that a smile means happiness. But now, it's the other way around. Like everything else in this world, a smile had a lot of meaning behind it.

In the classroom I was seated at the back most part of the room. My classmate once told me that in the front rows, one time when I was asked by my professor about what my hobby is, someone whispered, "smiling". 

On one incident, another professor called my attention and actually scolded me in the class for one reason .. she caught me smiling while she was nagging all over. 

In our English class, we are asked to deliver a speech. My professor told me that I am good at it, the way I utter the words and my posture, aside from one thing ... my facial expression. Why? For one thing .. she told me that my eyes are always smiling, which is a good thing because it makes me look an approachable person but a bad side when I were about to deliver something serious. 

This is what makes me good at hiding my feelings. Smiling. It had been a very essential part of my life. I am a good liar. I could show anyone it doesn't hurt .. but really .. it's already killing me inside.

My dimples add up to the act. When people see those "assets" I have, they thought I'm happy with my life. So whenever they don't see me smiling early in the morning, that's when they thought I'm having a bad day, which is, not accurately true. I mean, it had been one of my best acting skills. I could smile in the rain and cry in a sunny day. 

I wish there would be someone who knew me. Who really, really knew me. Who knows that behind my biggest smile is the unforgiven hurt I have inside. I wish there would be someone who would notice the difference with my smile of happiness and smile of sadness. How I wish there's someone out there who would know that when I say I'm ok, I'm actually not. 

I don't really want to be noticed.

I just want to know that there's someone who really knew me.

Who knows and feels that I'm falling apart.

And someone who'll know I need comfort.

Someone who could give my need.

Someone who will never hesitate to do it.

I'm young and depressed. ..

You will never ever love me like the way I love you.

And even if I want you to, you will never ever will.

From the start I should have known that I will be the loser when I fall.

Actually, I knew it .. I've just took the risk.

First, because I know loving you would make me feel happier than ever, aside from the fact that it would also hurt me in the worst way ever.

Second, I didn't know I would fall for you in the first place, it just happened.

But if you'll ask me if I'll ever stop myself if I knew it beforehand, I wouldn't.

I'll still choose to be hurt.

Because you know what?

Loving you is the best thing I have done in my entire life.