I really thought he loves me. 

His actions, his words, his cares .. it all tells me that I mean something to him and most especially, he had feelings for me. 

But one night, when we saw each other and talked, that's when I realized the truth ... that he's not in love with me. That I am something he uses for a pastime (which he openly admit). I am someone he wants to talk with when no one's around. I am someone he doesn't really care about (which is strongly affirmed by his actions lately, just when I needed him most).

It's ok. I mean, I don't really care if he loves me the way I do or not. The big deal is that, he's not even a friend to me. He doesn't understand me. He doesn't care about what I feel. He never ask me what's wrong in a sincere way .. it always seems like it's his duty to do that as a friend, but he doesn't really give a damn about it. He's just there when I'm happy. He always misunderstood my words, not like how I try to always understand his. I should always affirm to all that he wants, which makes things worst on my part. 

Whenever I think about it, it hurts me. I feel tired as well. I don't know how long I could take this. There are times I really want to give up (just like now) .. I mean, sometimes, I think about telling him to stay out of my life .. but I know myself .. I know ... I know I can't bear the pain when he's gone. I'll just wait for that moment when he voluntarily quits. Tell me I'm stupid, but I pray it won't happen. I am tired, but I want to try my best not to, just to make him stay in my life forever. That's how I loved him. I love him so much, more than myself, but not more than God, of course. 

I wish I'd meet someone who'd love me more than what I can give. Not necessarily an opposite sex, but someone .. who could be a true friend to me. Who would try to understand me no matter what. Who will always listen up on my cares. Who will not scold me up when I am already feeling bad. Who will stand with me in the stormy days of my life. I want a friend. A true friend who'll love me. A friend who'll not just dedicate songs to me, but will act according to the words they had promised.

Bitter :/

There are two things that I have always been bitter... 

ayoko na.

ayoko na.

ayoko na.

ayoko na talaga.

They made her perfectly. :/

Tetris battle made me feel better. .. such a nice stress reducer. :) 

I hope and I pray that tomorrow would be a wonderful day. ...

Good night! :))

Those people who don’t try to understand you well are those who don’t deserve to be your friend.

I wonder if I've met the person I'm going to end up marrying.

SUCKS.

That feeling when you talk to someone you know you can never be with.

He came at night, exposed my body, got on top of me, touched me, he bit, sucked, swallowed, and when he was satisfied, he left
I was hurt . . .
bloody . . .
STUPID MOSQUITO! XD

One of the best lessons I've learned this year.

Don't expect things to happen. It's better to be surprised than to be disappointed.