I miss you.

Is there anyone out there like this?

I will. I will. I will. No matter what. I will.

When I am alone, I think about you.

When I think about you, I remember what you said before.

When I remember those words, I feel pain.

When I feel pain, I cry.

When I cry, I can't stop.

When you're there, that's when I become ok.

Please, don't leave me alone. 

YOU ARE THE DISEASE, AND YOU ARE THE CURE.

No, I have forgiven you already. Please don't do it again.

I know how it feels.

There's an invisible string that connect our hearts  .. that no distance could cut. ♥

Dreams.

I like dreams. I love them actually. Why? Because a dream is the only possible way to make your impossible wishes come true. Like, I always want to have this someone with me, and we can only be together in my dreams. Whenever I dream about this, I really wish I won't wake up anymore. But sometimes, everything just don't go with what you want .. during the climax, someone will wake you up and afterwards ... you end up forgetting everything that happened in your dream.

I like dreams because there, life seems to be perfect. Most of the things (the good ones) that happen is in line with what you are actually been waiting for too long to take place in reality. My frustrations, my failures, ... they're gone. Everything is just so perfect, you would never wish to stay out of it.

But of course, there are nightmares, the ones you never ever want to have and to get out too soon. Nightmares appear more realistic, which I really wonder why. For example, in your nightmare you are stabbed, it's as if you are really in that situation and you can feel the pain. But in dreams, it barely happens. I couldn't even feel my loved one's hug there, but seeing him do it to me is enough.

I have never dreamed of myself getting killed or dying. I don't want to see the killing, I just want to dream about me, just sleeping and then never ever came to consciousness again. At least, in my dream, it happened. I want a peaceful death. Everything around me is so miserable and messy, so I just wish that I could obtain the peace that I have been wanting in my death. At least in my death.

This is all I want to say. ♥

          I want to spend my days with you, all of them. I want to sit in bed with you, listening to music, play fighting and cuddling, just blocking out the rest of the world. I want to kiss you all over. I want you to grab my face and kiss me unconditionally. I want you to grab me from behind and wrap your arms around me and never let me go. I just want to be with you, and stay with you. I want to play with your hair and look at your eyes for hours while you tell me stories and we discuss who knows what. I want you to grab my hand and hold it as long as you can. I just want to be with you, so badly.

I'm not in the mood. :/

All things just piss me off today. I so hate myself for it. I wanna kill myself ... really. Well, I think I have to take a deep sleep before I totally ruin this day. I'm so tired of myself. I hope when I wake up everything would be fine.

Wag kang mag hahanap
ng taong nakakaintindi sayo,
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Ang hanapin mo yung taong
hindi ka iiwan kahit 'di ka naiintindihan!

"I'm strong and smart enough to accept everything without explanation.
After all, explanation just hurt when you know it is a lie .."

-Taylor Swift