GA ♥ we'll find our way back.

BOOKS = E.S.C.A.P.E

I'm currently reading The Time Traveler's Wife and I was about to finish it ... so I've decided to slow down reading because I'm not yet ready to close the book knowing that I still haven't had a next one to read. 

Anyway, it was such an amazing book. The author's so awesome, I can't imagine myself thinking the way she  do. 

So as you can see, reading had been my life (again) after he has gone. I missed reading books so much, but I miss him more. Well, if you're going to make me choose between reading and spending my time with him ... I'd better do the latter and invite him to the the former, knowing that he also loves to read books. I remembered when we went to the National Library. That was such an incredible and lovely memory. :')

So ... reading had been one of my e.s.c.a.p.e from reality. It had driven me away from sad thoughts, from unnecessary heartaches I should be feeling right now. When I'm reading, I tend to forget about what I am undergoing and I enjoy myself as I dive into the marvelous stories I am in. It was just .. amazing. Everything. I really love books, my diary and this blog as well. It really helps. I don't feel alone much also. I have friends, though not one who would hug me and cry with me. It didn't matter. I don't need people around if they don't want to. :)

I'm ok. I mean, I'm hurt but it's not like before that I feel dying. No hurt feelings, though I admit that I wasn't really happy. Well, I'm taking my time to actually heal from this hurt and be free. For now, I'm enjoying myself by picking up the pieces, one by one, and living just like how I used to be before, but in a more improved way. I have learned a lot of things with the past event and you know what? I'm less bitter. I don't even feel that bad much. 

Just like the first time you left me .... do I have to deal with it for another 5 months or maybe for a lifetime???

It was you GA. None other than you. Now, I have no tomorrow to look forward to ... :'(

You told me you'd stay, but you gave me up like everyone else .... :(

I'm so sorry that I've became too dependent on you. But swear, you're my only happiness. After you left me, I can't find out what happiness really is. I was like in the most beautiful dream and then immediately crashes in a nightmare where I got stuck with and then I end up waking up feeling the sorrow brought about by that sad premonition. I should have known that you're leaving. I should have known that you don't love me anymore. ,...

You're still the best part of my life. I will never forget you. I miss you so much. 

Before ... 

When I hear our songs, the songs that we used to sing and listen together ... I feel madly, deeply, in love with you ... in short, I feel infinite.

Now ... 

When I hear those songs, I suffer inside, my heart bleeds, my chest contracts as I remember every single thing that happened to us behind those songs. 

I miss you so bad Ga. This is not the ending we've promised to each other. I'll make a way to make things better. We'll end up good, I swear to you. I love you from east to west of the earth. I love you infinitely. I'm letting you go because I want you to be happy. Anyway, I still hope and pray that someday, we'll end up again together ...