This is how I was damaged by the strong rains. ...

I am really expecting a text message from him. I mean, yeah, I may appear desperate but I am really waiting for it. My mind keeps on telling me the whole day that I am just wasting my time expecting nothing .. and that deep inside I know he won't even remember me ..but I really just can't deny the fact that ... that .. that .. I .. miss him and I am constantly thinking about him.

 Rains, storms, strong winds, reports about these things makes me remember him. I worry so much how was he, if has he arrived home safe. I wonder if he has brought with him an umbrella, or if he is now suffering from severe cold inside the air conditioned bus because he was wet. Oh well, I am really insane. I hate myself so much. I am such a fool to be like this. I really hate myself. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After this insanity, I end up realizing that I am such a big fool. That person doesn't even think about me, like what he had said before, he even hasn't remember me if nothing comes through his way that will remind him of me. He's so bad! How could I like a person like him who doesn't even care if I exist. AHHHH!!!!

I think what I should do is I'll just have to sleep and forget about these things. Yes, this is the best idea. I hope when I wake up, I won't remember anything.

It's better to have amnesia than to be hurt by constantly reminiscing the past that I can never ever bring back. :l

Bawal mag react!

dear czarina,

lagi man tayong nag aaway, kaibigan pa din ang turing ko sayo. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito na lng lagi ang nangyayari?pero sa totoo lang di ko talaga kaya na nag aaway tayo lagi,un bang simpleng tampuhan pag di na nagpansinan aun wala na tingin na ng iba away na. na realized ko na malaking kawalan ka pala sa akin lalo na sa school yun bang lagi ka na lng nasa isip ko, o kaya di talaga ako makapakali na may namamagitang tampuhan sa atin (ang hirap kaya non) nakakapagod na talagang umiwas lalo na't maliit lang ang school at mag ka klase pa tayo, nakakailang din kaya...sana maintindihan mo na kaya lang naman ako nagkakaganito dahil sa mga dahilang simple lang.. hope you understand :) sorry sa mga kasalanang nagawa ko :)

.peace na tayo :))

. i love you as a friend

love,
wendy
— at sm mall of asia.

Sleepy. :))

My eyes goes like this. LOL. Yeah .. I mean .. I am really sleepy but I can't sleep because I know I have a lot of things to do .. but whenever I start doing those .. my eyes automatically shut. But when I walk to my bed, I become awake and here I am! Posting anything that I want. Well, ah .. I've just realized that 24 hours isn't really enough to accomplish everything. I mean, if I really wanted to do all those things on my list .. It would take me a week .. straight .. without sleep. But of course I can't do that. I am human, I have limitations and that's what is driving me so envious about machines. But I don't wish to be a machine .. . I just like how strong they are to handle everything. But you know what, even my computer retires .. I have restarted it for a lot of times because I think it's also as tired as me. LOL. 

By the way, before I jump off to my bed, I want to share some bits about how was my day. Hmm .. I haven't done my assignment in Filipino because I was so sleepy last Tuesday night, but thank God I have finished my assignment in Sociology. In the morning, I've tried to do it but I lack time .. I am actually late because I was supposed to leave the house at 6:30 am but I had it 7:00. Oh well, yeah .. there's heavy traffic but I didn't mind .. why? It's because I was so entertained by the music played on the jeepney I am riding on. The driver plays the Air Supply hits and wow ... what a wonderful morning it is! I have prayed that the song Two Less Lonely People be played and it was granted. I so thank God for it. And then, I wasn't really late because I have been in Southland at 7:30, but the problem is that there is heavy traffic again going to Lopez. So I've slept and the moment I woke up, I was on the place where I have to leave the jeepney. Then I called for the jeepneys but the first two ignored me. Then the third one was kind enough to fetch me. I have planned that I will sit behind the passenger's seat so that I could sleep but I failed.

One thing that I didn't expect is that, I saw Alchris, the lad Geralyn has always been telling us, her one and only love. :))) He was wearing black shades but I recognized him on his eyebrows and lips. Then when he did put off his shades, I have finally conclude that it was him. I have justified it when he jump off the jeepney in front of Puregold Jr. in Evacom, where his school is near.

I am late actually, but when I arrived in school, I was earlier than my teacher. I was so fortunate. The moment I saw Geralyn, I told her everything and she was like, "OMG!". Hahahaha!

Filipino. Reporting. I haven't reported yet because it's already time. :))

Next, we had our English make-up class. It was lead by Kia, Emmamae, Joseph, Leah and Ellen. It was a nice seminar .. they really feel like it. And .. ah .. it's fun but in the middle, kind of boring. Maybe it's because we are all hungry by that time.

Lunch Break. Geralyn and I went to McDonalds and we bought fries, her rice and a coke float. On our way to the store, I was opening up to her how I hate Jodi for being such a .. I don't know what to call it. I've really burst out , I mean .. I have really said everything that's bothering my head. I just can't handle the feeling anymore. Well, I became relaxed after that. It's really a good thing that you talk with someone. Upon returning to school, we ate and then we've chatted with Joyce and watched Eat Bulaga. Oh, I really hate the segment, Juan For All, All For Juan. Pinoy Henyo is what I like. :)))

After lunch, my plan to sleep was broken because I have to finish my assignment in Filipino, which by that time I am done yet but I'm half way through it. Second, I was chatting with Geralyn, Clay and Rodolf, and it was so fun. I missed them so much. Rodolf planned that we will be having our "gala" at the end of the semester. Well, I hope it's true. :)))

While talking, I was waiting for McKelvin. By the way, the whole day, I was joking that I like Mc Kelvin so much .. blah blah blah. Geralyn told me that I should stop because we don't fit to each other .. 'coz Mc is much .. so much taller than I. hahaha!

So while chatting with the guys, Mc approached me. I was asking him why and he just walk so fast, that I have to run his every step (of course he's a huge man, his steps are runs for me). he was serious. I thought he would confront me that he hates me because of what I say the whole day about us. But then, when we are on the main door, he told me that he was vomiting blood. We went to the c.r, yeah, believe it or not, I accompanied him in the male's comfort room. We are both there, but of course the door was widely open and I didn't do anything harmful to him. LOL. Then he asked me what do I think he's going through. I asked him if there's any part of his body that aches but he said none, and he has no illness except for his asthma. I told him to have a check up. I went back to our room to get him a drink and I returned there. I was so nervous that I can feel my internal organs shake. My hands are also ice cold. I worry about Mc so much. But thank God, he texted me a while ago and told me that the doctor said that he's ok and there's nothing to worry much about. :))

After Sociology, we are supposed to have our English make up class again but Ma'am wasn't around so we just had a meeting regarding our two plays, wherein, fortunately, I wasn't included. hahahaha!

During dismissal, Jodi asks me to join her and Wendy in going to SM, but I didn't. I want to go home straight because I am really tired. Good thing the movie marathon with Ellen and Geralyn was cancelled. :)) By the way, Geralyn and I were able to ride on the one and only airconditioned jeepney of Parañaque. it was such a nice experience. I mean, that jeepney is so hard to catch up, and we are just so fortunate to have it stop in front of us as soon as we finished crossing the street. :)) 

Well, this is all that happened today. Upon arriving home, as usual, I was alone ... and so tired. My parents and Sam arrived and are now asleep. I haven't slept yet because I've searched for pictures from my friends that I could use for our analysis in Psychology.

That's all for now, I have lots of things to share, but I'm so tired. :))) 

Let's all have a very nice sleep .. and may God be with us and spare us a nice dream. :)))

I'll talk to you if you'll talk to me. LOLzzzzz.... !

Eto na nga ba'ng sinasabi ko e .. tsk.

Naks .. anlaki no. Anlaking katangahan ko nanaman kasi e .. hahaha! Oo, may crush ako .. ah .. hindi pala .. hindi pa pala confirmed. Feeling ko lang naman. Ayun.

So ayun na nga .. parang may crush na ko. Kasi naman e.. nakakainis! Para kasi akong tanga. Pero tulad nga ng sinabi ko .. hindi pa confirmed .. feeling ko papunta pa lang sa ganun pero .. ayokong mangyari yun. Kaya kailangan kong agapan kung ano man to ... kailangan ko ng mag-isip ng mga nakaka turn off na bagay tungkol sa kanya!!! LOL!! (isip-isip).

Para akong tanga no?? Parang ewan lang talaga. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko kasi ... ako .. dalawang pagkakataon lang ako nagkakagusto sa isang lalaki .. una, pag umamin siyang may gusto sa akin (syempre depende pa rin sa sinseridad) at pangalawa .. kapag inaasar ko ang sarili ko sa kanya. Takte, garantisado ... nagkakagusto talaga ako. Parang ewan lang talaga. Hindi ko naman sinasadya ... sabihin na nating nakakarma lang ako sa mga pinaggagagawa ko. Pero nakakainis kasi e. Parang tanga talaga. 

So ayun .. ayun na nga. Wala naman akong balak sabihin ito kahit kanino .. lalo pa't wala na akong well trusted friends ... itatago ko na lang ang bawat kilig sa sarili ko. Hahaha! Isa pa .. di pa nga confirmed .. at gagawan ko na ng paraan wag lang matuloy ... nakakahiya naman kasi sa taong yun . sabihin niya ... nako. crush ko siya. Eh hindi naman !! LOL!!!

Pero infairness .. gusto ko na rin na magkacrush sa kanya. Kasi dahil sa kanya .. nakalimutan ko si t0000000000t ,,, as in di ko naisip buong araw. Kaso mahirap na .. ayoko na uling masaktan e. Kaya .. nako habang maaga pa kailangan ko ng agapan .. mas ok ng walang pakiramdam kesa in love nga, nasasaktan naman. AYoko. Magpapakamanhid na lamang ako. hahahahahahha!!!!

Ahai ...

Panaginip ni Wendy

Kanina.. pagbukas ko ng FB ang status ni Wendy .. may napanaginipan daw siya tapos sobrang masasaktan daw talaga siya pag nangyari yun sa totoong buhay. Then I asked her what is it all about. Sabi niya .. it's about Hadasa and Justin ... na nagkatuluyan daw sila .. parang ganun .. tapos parang invited pa siya ... ewan ko kung sa kasal or binyag ng anak. Tapos sabay sabi na .. "di naman talaga yun." tapos biglang binawi.

Well, I don't care about what really is it. I mean .. konsensya na niya yun if she'd tell me the truth or not. I'm after this... buti nga siya panaginip lang e .. ako .. araw araw naiisip ko na magkasama sila ..na silang sila na talaga .. at araw araw .. nasasaktan talaga ako .... That mine happens in reality .. she's fortunate (kung totoo man yun nga ang panaginip niya .. ahai.. ) kasi .. panaginip lang. Pero sabi ko sa kanya pwedeng mangyari yun sa totoong buhay kasi ok naman sina Dasa .. pero pag siya at si Justin imposible. hahahaha! Sama e no .. XD

Gonna pursue AB Evangelization .. Lord, help me! :)))

CHURCH is my COLLEGE. 

HEAVEN is my UNIVERSITY.

JESUS is my DEAN. 

THE HOLY SPIRIT is my PROFESSOR.

HOLY ANGELS are my CLASSMATES. 

THE BIBLE is my STUDY BOOK.

TRIAL & TEMPTATION are my EXAMS. 

SOULS WINNING are my ASSIGNMENTS. 

EVANGELISM is my THESIS.

PRAYER is my ATTENDANCE. 

CROWN OF LIFE is my DEGREE. 

LOVE ONE ANOTHER is my INSPIRATION.

PRAISE & WORSHIP is my MOTTO. :D

Alam mo naman ang sagot diba??

Kaninang umaga.. ang ganda ng gising ko. Basag agad ako .. you know .. I'm hurt. Tapos ayun ... inayos ko na yung kama ko .. then I saw my pillow .. yung regalo sakin ni Clay nung bday ko. It says there na .. "GAP - God answers prayers". Tapos bigla kong naisip ..  "God, you know what I want .. " and then suddenly biglang nag-pop sa isip ko yung pinag-usapan namin ni Ate Grace last Wednesday .. yung sabi ni Lord na .. "Alam mo naman ang sagot ko dyan diba?".. Ahay .. lalo tuloy akong na-emo kanina. Yeah right. For so long I have been praying for that one thing .. Sinabi ko pa nga na I would wait for that day .. pero now I realized that God has always been answering me .. and that's it. Ewan ko ba. Sabi nila .. if you have faith, if you visualize and believe what you want, no matter how it looks like impossible, it will still happen in God's time. Tapos sabi din nila nothing's impossible. But .. kahit na ganun .. there is still such thing as .. "It won't happen .. NEVER." ..

Yung feeling na ..

Biglang sumikip ang dibdib mo..

Na para bang nawalan ka bigla ng hangin sa lungs mo ...

Yung tipong lahat ng laway mo umurong ...

Yung biglang tutulo luha mo tapos titingin ka sa kisame para lang di matuloy...

Yung may kung anong kirot sa puso ...

Ang nakakatawa dito, yung nakita mo e inaasahan mo ..

Pero ang reaksyon mo .. para bang hindi mo naisip man lang na makita yun.

--------------------------------------o0o-------------------------------------------------

Ouch na ouch na ouch again. But I'm happy. Super blessed talaga sila ngayon .. :))

Makatulog na nga. Kung ano ano pa kasi ang binuksan ko .. ayan tuloy .. ahay .. I'll pray for them na lang .. and I'll pray for myself ...:))

jealous of the one who finally have him .. :'(

Gisingin ang Puso

Nadarama ko pa ang ‘yong mga halik na hindi ko matanggal
Sa isip at diwa tila nandirito ka pa
Naririnig mo ba
Mga patak ng aking luha
Mananatili nang sugatan ang damdamin sinta

Sa bawat araw bawat tibok ng puso
Ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ala ala mo sa akin ay gumugulo
Bakit din na lang pawiin ang hapdi sa aking puso
Pipilitin ko limutin ang pag ibig mo
Kung panaginip lang ito sana gisingin ang aking puso

Ngayo’y nangungulila sa iyong mga lambing at pag suyo sinta
Maibabalik pa ba kung wala nang pag ibig mong wagas

Sa bawat araw bawat tibok ng puso
Ikaw ang nasa isip ko oohhh

Ahay .. isang .. ah .. nakakarelate na kanta. Nakakainis. Hahaha. Parang tanga no nainis pa.. wala lang. Kasi .. nakakainis bat kailangan pang masaktan. Bakit di pwedeng magmahal na lang? Bakit kailangan pang maging kumplikado ng lahat? Sana pagkatapos ng lahat makalimot ka na lang. Yung tipong .. wala na .. biglang bura lahat .. back to realidad ka na. Kaso hindi e. After nun .. after niyong gumugol ng panahon sa pagkolekta ng memories ..lahat ng nakolekta niyo babalik bigla.

Minsan nakakainis ang memory. Wrong timing. Minsan naiisip ko traydor siya. Isang kaaway. Kasi titirahin ka niya gamit ang mga weakness mo .. sa panahon kung kailangan sobrang weak ka. Kung kailan hindi mo dapat isipin at maalala ang mga bagay bagay .. dun siya papasok. At syempre in the end .. nasasaktan ka. 

Kaya ayokong na-a-attach sa mga tao e. Kung pwede nga lang sana .. lahat ng tao parang tindera lang .. makaka-usap ko lang siya pag bibili ako .. pero after nun wala na. Wala kaming koneksyon. Hindi ko siya mamimiss. Wala akong ibang memory kundi yung scenario na lamang na hinihintay ko siyang ibigay ang nais ko. Pagkatapos wala na. Ganun na lang sana. Sana wala na lang naiipong alaala. Kasi masakit. Sobrang masakit maalala ang lahat. Yung tipong .. ganun kayo dati pero ganito na kayo ngayon. Ang sakit talaga. Ok lang sana kung nagreretain kung ano man kayo .. yung walang pagbabago. Pero hindi e. 

Sana hindi ko na madama pa ang mga halik niya. Sana lang naririnig niya ang aking pagluha. Sana malaman niya na dahil sa ginawa niya, mananatili ng sugatan ang aking puso. Kung alam niya lang na siya lang ang tinitibok ng puso at iniisip ko. Na ang alaala niyang naiwan ay habambuhay na gugulo sakin. Sana nga madali na lang pawiin ang hapdi sa puso. Di bale, pipilitin ko na lang limutin ang pag-ibig niya. At kung panaginip man ang lahat ng ito .. sana gisingin ako. Namimiss ko na ang paglalambing at pagsuyo niya. Hindi na ata talaga maibabalik pa ang lahat kahit pilitin pa .. dahil wala na talaga. 

---------------------------------------------o0o-----------------------------------------------------------

Nakakainis .. alam mo yun???

Nakakainis yung mga taong .. may sasabihin tapos alam mo namang ikaw ang pinapatamaan kasi ikaw lang naman ang kausap at iyon ang napuna niya sayo .. tapos pag sinabi mong, "oo sige hindi na ako magiging ganun .. " sabay itatanong sayo, "may nagsabi bang ikaw yung tinutukoy ko?" Badtrip alam mo yun?? Pwede ba .. utang na loob .. ganun ba talaga ako ka-gago sa tingin niyo?? Na hindi ko alam at di ko ramdam na ako talaga yun? Na para namang di kasali sa sinabi mo na ako nga ang tinutukoy?? Oo na, sabihin mo ng guilty .. e pucha naman ... grabe. Alam mo yun. Tapos bigla kang babaliktarin. Nakakaasar! Naiinis talaga ako!!! 

OUR PROTECTION POEM TODAY

Be not afraid of the enemy.
We are protected by His Divinity.
In His arms we will safely abide
Torments and fears are all swept aside.

Ouch .. :'(

Relationships Start with "can we talk ?" :)
And
Then Ends With "we need to talk" :(

 

Relationships Start with "can we talk ?" :)
And
Then Ends With "we have nothing to talk anymore" :(

One weak or One week??

Without GOD,our week would be:

Mournday ,
Tearsday ,
Wasteday ,
Thirstday ,
Fightday ,
Shatterday.
Sinday.
seven days without GOD makes one weak

What do women want emotionally from men? Many things... but if you sum it up: Women want to be challenged, passionately seduced, and chased by a Bad Boy... and loved, honored, and empowered by a Nice Guy. Men have both as part of them... they just need to learn when/how to use each part of their persona.

Sabi ko nga e .. magrereview na ko !! Pero bukas na.. XD

Bat ganun?? Ang sarap mag-procrastinate. I mean .. ayun .. pag may pinagagawa .. magandang example yung sa school . .. una .. tatamarin ka. Iniisip mo kasi na malayo pa naman ang deadline. Tapos .. ilang araw .. ang tigas mo pa rin talaga .. di ka pa kikilos kahit na nagpaparamdam na sayo ang mga dapat mong gawin. tapos .. ayun na. Ang bilis ng araw .. deadline na pala! Rush ka tuloy ngayon !!! Overnight sa desk, antok antok pa nung pumasok sa school dahil tinapos ang dapat tapusin.

Nakakainis pag ganito no. Sabay magsisisi ka sa huli at sasabihin sa sariling, "I will not do this again.. " pero after sometime ganun pa rin naman. Pero kasi di mo rin masisisi ang sarili mo kung ganito ka. Eh sa nakakatamad naman kasi talaga e. Isa pa, madalas ang magagandang ideas nalabas kapag gahol ka na sa oras. Yun nga lang e . pagod na pagod ka.

Parang ngayon lang. Marami pa akong dapat gawin. Ilang chapters ang dapat kong basahin sa Psychology at Sociology. Dapat ko na ring umpisahan ang survey. May research paper pa kami sa P.E. Ang kalat pa ng desk ko. grabe. Andami kong dapat gawin .. pero tinatamad ako. Kumapara naman sa mga yun mas masarap humarap sa computer at mag post sa blog. Naman! hahaha! Pero teka .. malapit na mag - 1 .. di pa ko nakain. Grabe.

What goes around, comes around.

we had the right love at the wrong time ..

Kung mahilig kang magtext .. malamang minsan sa buhay mo nakatanggap ka na ng quote na nagsasabing .. "Lahat naman pwede pero hindi lahat dapat. Parang tayo .. pwede pero di dapat. .. " isa yan sa mga nakakatamang quote na nabasa ko. Tama naman diba??

Hindi ko alam pero sadyang unfair lang talaga ang mundo. Tayo bilang tao .. nagmamahal tayo. Iba't ibang sitwasyon, iba't ibang kwento. Minsan nangyari na sakin to. Yung nagmahal ako ng taong mahal din naman ako .. pero sadyang di kami pwede dahil sa maraming bagay. I mean, pwede pala kami .. kung gugustuhin talaga namin pwede naman naming isakatuparan ang relasyong nais namin .. pero hindi dapat. Maraming masasaktan. Maraming maaapektuhan. Maraming masisira. At kesa naman mangyari ang lahat ng iyon para lang sa pansarili naming mga kaligayahan .. mas pinili na lamang naming parusahan ang aming sarili .. tutal dadalawa lang naman kami .. kesa yung marami. Oo, madrama talaga ako sa bagay na ito. Ang hirap kasi sa pakiramdam yung may mahal ka pero di mo man lang makasama. Tapos .. tapos... hay. Nakaloka talaga.

Sabi nila, ang pag-ibig ang isa sa mga perpektong bagay sa mundo. Pero bat ganun? Dahil dito maraming nagkakasala, maraming nasasaktan. Bat ganun?? 

Sige .. makagawa nga ng konsepto ng pag-ibig. haha.!!!

Hay .. sa huli .. ganun na nga .. nakakainis man .. ganun talaga. Kung pwede lang kitilin ang lahat ng hadlang at lahat ng dahilan na nagdidikta samin na lubayan ang isa't isa ... ginawa ko na. hahaha! Pero syempre, joke lang yun. XD

I am a fool for my wish is you .. always. But how can I stop myself from wanting you .. if the happiness I am looking for is in you?? Am I bad because I have loved you this much? Can you blame me for feeling this way? Do you think I like this? It hurts like hell. It crashes me .. knowing that I am dreaming for something no one ever can give me. It's you that I want. It's you that I always think of .. it's you that I wish for. Loving you means punishing myself . but please .. just let me love you ..

Minus one minute .. at least. :(

When sickness comes to weaken me,

To bring my head down low,

I call upon my mighty God;

Into His arms I go. †††

It is time to get serious about life.

It is time to get serious about sharing Christ.

It is time to get out of the boat and walk on water.

LORD, HELP MY FAITH. I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.

Mag ex nag uusap ..

G: Namiss mo ba mga yakap ko? bawat kuLitan natin

sa araw araw na magkasama tayo? mga text at

pick up Lines na pinapasa mo sa CP ko, mga letters

na pinaghihirapan mo?? namiss mo ba mga un??

B: Hindi ..

G: Baket??

B: DahiL ang namimiss ko ay IKAW MISMO :D