I was having a good chat with a classmate at school while waiting for my professor to arrive when she asked me if the chapel was open. I said no, because the janitor have already locked it up. Then she told me that whenever she's alone and had no one to talk to, she places herself in our chapel and talk with God. At first, I thought she's kidding, but when I looked straight in her eyes, I knew she meant it. 

I've just thought about those days that I was alone. I feel like I'm dying inside, there's no one to turn to and it seems like everyone's staring at me and thinks I'm weird (which I suppose, somewhat true). I really fear being alone, and most of all, being left behind. It's the worst thing that could ever happen to me.. which is funny because I always end up to a situation like that and I'm still not used to it. Anyway, I'm human, and the need for companionship is so extreme to the extent that I feel sick when I have no one around. Well, let's put it in a much clearer way. There's everybody around but you still feel so alone, and that sucks. 

My whole life, I am always alone. Like now. All I have with me is my computer and my books, which are very useful but they do not respond like human. And besides, the warmth and the human touch is something so magical ... nothing on earth could comfort you more than it does. It's what I badly need right now ... and I may say that it's the reason why I get too attached to people who show care for me ... because it's what I long for and I'm craving for it.

But at some point, being alone is better. Like what a classmate once said, what is happening right now, may be too bad for us right now, but it could possibly be a training ground that God had given to prepare us for what the future may bring. Anyhow, my present situation teaches a lot of things to me every single day, and believe it or not, the fear that builds up inside me is fading away. I should not focus on its negative side, but extract all the positives that would be very useful for me as a surviving tribute here in this chaotic world. :) 

I'll just never forget one of my favorite verses ... which keeps me on track. 

"All things work together for good for those who love God .... " - Romans 8:28