I have lots of companions and acquaintances .. but not friends. Most of the time, people misunderstood me. Like, one friend of mine told me that he is confused with the girls I'm always with in school because I always tell him that we quarrel and they're not my friends. He told me that we're always together so we're all friends, but I insisted that we're not.
When I was younger, I have always been open for everyone .. even someone I have only chatted with for a while, I call her a friend. But one time, I have this one classmate whom I have always been with everyday .. we shared everything .. and so I have actually coined her as my best friend. Then one day, she confronted me .. really .. and told me that we're not friends and I am so stupid that I didn't know that. it made me feel so sad that I came to promise myself that I will choose very carefully those people that I will call my friends.
So now, I still live with this promise .. and I don't regret it. As time goes by .. I realize that I really have to sort out my friends. But ironically, I often meet people now who easily call me their friends and it bothers me. I become shocked when I hear words like, "We're friends right?" .. I don't know how to respond especially when that person has never been in my list. Well, when this happens, I often say .. "Ah.. " and then, I smile.
Well, even if I sort out friends or not, I still haven't found the perfect and true one. I mean, yeah, no one's perfect, but at least I wish I could have a friend like that on the movies who are very supportive, always ready to talk and listen .. ah .. how I wish. But I have those people whom I call my friends .. not too many .. just enough to make me hurt. But even if they hurt me and I do as well, I love them.. because they are my friends.
Only one problem with me is that when I finally called someone my friend, I attach myself to him so much that when he or she leaves me, it's as if I had someone who died. Really. I care so much for those I call my friends .. but I don't know if they feel the same way too. But I really admit .. I'm really having a hard time to call someone my friend, but when I do .. of course I inform them and I make sure they agree because if not .. then it all ends there.
So when people ask me .. "Are you friends? or What relationship do you have?" I simply answer them according to the hierarchy. LOL.
-chat mate
-acquaintance
-classmate/schoolmate/neighborhood
-friend
-best friend/boyfriend
-family
There it goes! haha!
No comments:
Post a Comment