The good thing about tonight is, the fear that I am assuming before did not occur. I thought if I saw those pictures again, all the pain I have felt and all those bad memories of our last days will come crashing through my mind. But as I browse those memories of ours, I feel good inside. The more pictures I stare at, the more I feel better. But of course let's not exclude the fact that I have cried a river. I actually have a bunch of used tissue papers right on my table. :) So I have decided not to download the pictures. Aside from the fact that it's too many it would take me a lot of time to do so (which is, I'm so willing to do if not for the second reason) and that I don't want to tempt myself looking at it every time I open my netbook. But I have downloaded some videos of our most favorite songs.
So far, this had been the best gift that I have given myself on my birthday. To see him again, even not personally. The face that I almost forget but I never did. The face of the man that I'll surely love until my last breath.
I keep on asking myself before why I am still holding on. The answer was given to me as a gift today. I'm still loving him, inspite of the fact that he left me, because that's what I have promised. And remember, I am a person who's so particular with promises. And if I told you so, I'd really do it. And because he's the only man I will love like this, I will and forever will.
I will watch music video of the song that I haven't heard for a long time now. I hope it would make me fall asleep. haha!
Tears fall from my eyes right now, not because I am in pain, but because I'm happy. That for once in my life, I was fortunate and so blessed to have him in my life. I'm happy because one of my birthdays were celebrated with him alone, and that would be one of the best birthdays of my life. And even though he's not around right now and he will not greet me (I even doubt it if he'll remember it's my birthday today), I'm still happy. I'm happy for us. We're happy now. I know he is, big time. And I have to be too.
Happy Birthday to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment