I'm feelin' it right now. I'm afraid. I don't know what he might tell me the next time we'd talk, I don't even know if we'll ever converse again. If ever we'll have the time to speak again, I don't want to hear anything about it. I just want him to tell me if we'd still be the same or not. But actually, it kills me. I'm really anxious about what he would utter. 

But most of all, I am horrified about the truth that he might tell me it's all over. I swear it would tear off my soul. I just wish I could bear it all.

I should ready myself for hearing the worst words. I must learn now to swallow everything, even the fact that he might not talk to me anymore. Any of the two things - being ignored or being told that it's over - would surely hurt me.