FOUR = HIM

It's been a while since I've last dropped by this blog. I admit that I've been resisting the urge to post here because I don't want to see this blog anymore... for most of the things written here are about him / for him. I want to fully forget him after a year of letting myself savor all the pain his memories have caused me, and turning away from this blog is one way. So if this is my stupid reason for this silly action (ikr?!), what pushed me to post again?

Well, it's him. 

I haven't seen him for a year now. I promised myself that this year, I will help myself forget by not mentioning him on my blog, Twitter or Facebook account...but obviously, I can't. I've tried, but I guess, as what a song used to say, my best wasn't good enough.

I am currently reading Allegiant by Veronica Roth, the last book of the series. It has its significant character, Tobias Eaton / Four, who keeps on reminding me of him. Though of course he couldn't be as perfect as any fictional character, Four's description (not the physical) is more like... HIM. And no matter how much I try to put him off my mind, I end up thinking that for once in my life I have met that fictional character in real life. Oh well, I know this is so pathetic but what can I do? I can just tell myself to leave his memories behind but at the end of the day, before I close my eyes to sleep, all I remember is how we used to be. A_N_D_I_T_H_U_R_T_S a little. 

This is why I love this blog. I may be learning to suppress my feelings but still, I need this for a release. My blog knows how to listen to me, and I'm glad it exists.