I woke up at 9am and resisted the urge to turn on the computer. So I've read a book and do some jigsaw puzzle. I don't know what's with me, that here I am now ... typing and browsing the internet. 

Lately, I've noticed that I'm becoming too attached with my computer. It's as if my day isn't complete without seeing its radiance in front of me. I am fortunate because I have been aware of it immediately. Now, I have to think of ways on how to stop myself clinging to this too much.

Like I've said earlier, I do reading and jigsaw-puzzling. Other than that, my life is a total boredom. I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone whom I can openly tell what the hell was going on with my life. Though I'm living normally and a bit happily right now, it seems my days tend to be colorless as it passes by. The problem, of course, was always with me. 

It's not hard (for everyone I suppose) to find someone whom he could share anything with. It's different with me. After the first and last man I've entrusted my whole life with, I don't know and I'm not planning of doing the same ever again. Not just because I fear the judgment, or the gossips. What I fear most is what it could possibly bring about .... attachment. I am preventing myself in building deeper relationships again. And I've just realized how poor a person I am, and how coward I am to decide that way. If only there would be someone who's willing to break these chains around me and make me feel that I'm free to speak and he's there to listen and comfort me and be with me. Fortunately, there's none. And I end up each day having only my computer, and you, blog ... to be with me in my happiest and most difficult times ....