Just a little slap of reality. :/

It's been a long time. I really, really want to post a lot of things but then I have limited time and energy to do so. Anyway I'm glad I've managed to open this blog tonight and post something. 

So ... I've seen this photo just now from Facebook and then I realized that it perfectly speaks about what I am feeling earlier, so I was motivated to post this while waiting for my downloads to complete. I had been in front of my computer for like 5 hours now, and I'm busy downloading stuff for this netbook of mine. While I was waiting, for the windows update to stop checking for updates, well, I wasn't allowed to browse any other part except for that, so I was left in silence and total peace as I waited. Then suddenly, thoughts about my past, specifically those I've already celebrated for being forgotten popped up in my mind. Funny thing is, it hurt me. Yeah, I mean this is embarrassing I know, but it really did hurt me. So just to avoid getting into it more, I've forced myself to stop the checking of updates and just keep myself busy with some other things. I even browsed nonsense sites just to keep my head from thinking about such things and the like. So what's the point here. Read again what's written in the photo. Not because I haven't moved on yet or whatever, but it's more of all this time, I have been fooling myself. I have been running away from those things by keeping myself busy with some other more sensible stuff but in fact, they are all just stored in the subconscious part of  my cognition and then it will be powered up when I am idle. This sucks, but I have no choice. I don't want and I don't have to live each day mourning for that whole year. My grief doesn't change anything in the past, and it would surely not help in my future. I know for fact that this mind of mine, though I may tend to forget a lot of things quickly but those that have affected me emotionally will forever mark in my head, which is not cool. The only escape I know is to keep them all away from my head by thinking about many other things. But of course it doesn't kill the memories. It's there. And when I allow it, it will be easy to dig all those again than it is to bury them in the deepest, most secret place in my brain. I know this is somewhat pathetic but this is true, and I hate myself for it. 

*Sorry for the extra large size of the photo. I just really want to emphasis it. :D

Plans after the busy days.......................

I'm planning to have another blog. I want it to show a different side of me ... someone who is cheerful, full-spirited, enthusiastic, and positive. I want it to be wholesome. It wasn't a secret to everyone that this blog holds dreadful past reflections and are going to be kinkier as time passes by. Now I don't think it's a good idea to have only one blog that will show what my mind thinks about, because as for myself, I am not a kind of human being with one distinct, consistent attitude and mindset. I mean, let's face it, all of us, people, have our different sides. Why is it so hard to accept guys? Why are we so judgmental that contrasting ideas in one vessel starts the fire in our minds and mouths? 

Enough of the grumblings, I am determined to do this. Not now, but soon. I feel the need to sort out my dark thoughts from my heavenly ideas. :) I'm not doing this because I want to impress anyone ... NO NO NO! I'm doing this because I want to maximize my freedom of expressing myself. 

Two blogs. That's all and I will be fine. :)

 Another plan ... I want to learn how to play guitar. SERIOUSLY this time. Actually, I'd really want to learn how to do the drums but since all I've got in here is a guitar, I think it's best to utilize what's available for me. Now regarding this, I don't want to engage to guitar playing classes ... I want to learn by myself. I can do this. I will do this. :)

Next plan is .... continue my travel mania. :) I've not been in farther places since I am very busy earning every cent I have for books but I don't think it should be a hindrance for me to travel. Travelling doesn't only mean going to places and having fun. What I mean here is the fulfillment of one of my dreams .... being in different churches. :)

So, this is all for now. I'll have to work on these before pursuing another set of plans. :) I know and I believe I can do this. GOD IS WITH ME! :)

And after all.... you're my wonderwall..... (such a great song)

Yesterday's Accomplishments....

1. I was able to help my father in our business. Morning shift. :)
2. I've met Queenie, my new niece and were able to hold her tiny body in my arms.
3. I was able to attend to the wake of ... I guess it's my cousin with my father and younger sister.
4. I'm done researching about the different spiritualities and reading the hand out given by our professor in Religious Pedagogy.
5. I'd had a good sleep at 6PM - past 7, and I'll have it again right after I post this. :)))) 


#dowhatmakesyouhappy
#everydayisanaccomplishment

Wow, I missed my blog so much. :) I've been very busy in school works that I actually can't find time to post. It's not because this is not important, but my time is just so limited and occupied. Anyways, I'm so happy to post again. It's past 2 in the morning and I'm still awake, doing researches and the like. I'm happy because there are a LOT of things to do, and challenge for all these pressures. :) Take a sneak peak at my schedule of deadlines and schedule of accomplishing everything:

Deadlines:

Monday - lesson plan, powerpoint, report in religious pedagogy

Tuesday - spirituality research

Wednesday - rh law, take home test

Thursday - reading #3, exam in religious pedagogy / practicum

Schedule:

Saturday morning- spirituality 

saturday afternoon - report

saturday evening - teaching model

Sunday afternoon - powerpoint

sunday evening - reading #3

Monday - take home test

Tuesday morning - rh law

Tuesday evening - take home test review

Wednesday - rewrite reading #3

This is so mind blowing but I love it! Doing a lot is far way better than idleness. I love it when I have to think about a lot of RELEVANT things ... it saves me from pondering about trash memories. Oh well, bitterness ahead! hahahaha! Kidding aside, these things that I have to do are no reasons for me to give up. It actually fires me up, really. I know I can do this all, because God is by my side. For now, I'll go to bed and take some rest. Having lots of responsibilities doesn't mean you have to forget you are living. Taking all the pressures should still be enjoyed. How? Just love what you're doing and believe that God is with you always. That will definitely make the burden light. :)))