I was once a woman who can't be moved....

Before I sleep, I want to share this stupid yet unforgettable-but-should-be-forgotten memory of mine. It happened last December 17, 2012. It was our scheduled Christmas party in school, but instead of going there, I went to Makati without the knowledge of anyone else. It was really my plan not to attend the party, but my purpose was changed since the man I have loved had already dumped me. But since we haven't had an official break up that time, I am still after seeing him for a formal closure. Few days before the said date, my love and I were talking about what we would do that day since I was really planning to meet him instead of spending my time in school. He said that he will be in Makati in the morning and he will be waiting there for me. But that's not the main reason, because we could actually meet up on some other places. Well, he had his duty on his office, so I would be the one who will go there to pick him up. 

Then it was the 17th day of December. I woke up early, I didn't even have time to eat breakfast because I want to get there as early as I can. I don't know the exact time he will be there or if he'll ever be there in the first place, but since I was really blinded by the love that I feel for him, I took all my chances to be there. I thought to myself that time, if I would not do anything, I won't see him again. So that was it. 

To add spice to my adventure, it was my FIRST TIME to go to Makati ALONE. I relied on the instructions my father had told me months before and on how my love described his travel to his office building when we were still ok. Thank God, I have successfully arrived at the place. 

That time I was scared, because I don't know anyone or any place there. I stood on the adjacent street, just in front of their building but I was two roads away. I can clearly see the entrance of the building and the people that go in and out there. I was there at 7 in the morning. On my right and left were streets which I think would be the only way he will be from, so from time to time I look both sides. I had with me all his stuff, including his 12 packs of gels (which I have bought for him because he asked of it), the belt I've bought a day before as a Christmas gift for him and his computer hard wares. It was so heavy, my shoulders and neck have nearly got stiff. I cannot bring it down because the traffic enforcers and police might think I was by standing there. Well, I'm actually spying. 

I wasn't moving on my place until the sun had shone on my side at 9AM. I have endured the sunlight until 10:30AM. When I felt sweat rush down my neck, I went to the other side of the street, right in front of their office building! There I stood for more minutes. I don't want to give up if only I wasn't mistaken as a prostitute or a beggar or whatsoever by his friend, whom I know but do not know me. I've tried to approach him and ask for his friend, and if he will say he wasn't around, I'd just leave his belongings to him, but sad to say, he just stared at me like saying, "hey, it's already morning, you should be wandering the streets at night, prosti". (For clarifications, I wasn't wearing a very sexy outfit. I'm just on my jeans and a formal red blouse. But how he looked at me and how he ignored me tells the exact things. I know it.)

I know that I was one of the most stupid people around the globe. If you'd ask me if I regret doing such a thing, my answer is a big NO! Well, it really is funny, I admit. I am laughing at myself as I have remembered that when I've read the lyrics of The Man Who Can't Be Moved just a while ago. But then, being stupid because of love isn't a funny thing though. And it shouldn't be regretful because I have acted and reacted in line with what I am undergoing that time. The pain and the love have mixed that I am near to hallucinations, it was like I'll be having a nervous breakdown. If I haven't done it, I don't think it will be easier for me to accept what happened. It had helped me in some way. 

I'm proud to say that for once in my life, I became a woman who can't be moved. Mistaken to be broke, but actually heart-broken. If I'd do it again? Of course not! I've learned my lessons. I think the next time I'll not move, I'd be on the tomb. hahahha! Sweet dreams!

btw, this is a great song :)