He said HE LOVES ME
I BELIEVED
He said HE MISSED ME
I FELT THE SAME WAY
He said HE DID IT FOR ME
I FELT HAPPY
He said IT'S ONLY ME
I ACCEPTED IT AS TRUE
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He LIED ON MY FACE
I CRIED INSIDE
He said HE WON'T HURT ME
I WANT TO BELIEVE
He said HE LOVES ME
PLEASE HELP ME FIND THE COURAGE AND STRENGTH TO BELIEVE AGAIN.
It hurts to know and find for yourself that he lies. I knew it already but then, I always choose to believe, because I love him. My love for him had been the only reason that haven't vanished even though he had hurt me a lot of times.
But then, I have just realized that loving him doesn't mean loving myself back. I am hurt. He knew it. He doesn't admit it. I am in pain. He caused it. He denies it. He constantly tell me it was I who chose to be hurt. I want to be free from this torment.
I can't cry anymore. I can't shed a tear for someone who doesn't care about my hurt feelings, but is deeply worried about 'her' pains. Now, how could I believe that he truly loves me? I'm used. I want to die now. I don't know until when I could bare this feeling. It kills me inside.
I don't have the right but I'm hurt. I didn't choose to feel this. I don't even want it. I want to sleep and never wake up again. For if I would open my eyes again, what more could I see? How much pain is readily waiting for me? What lies could he tell me?
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