I wish I also knew I'll love you .. it would probably hurt less.

I really wish I knew I will fall for you the first time I saw you. I wish I have felt it. I wish I had the chance to warn and stop myself. I know, it would surely hurt less ... but it won't make my life happier than it is right now.

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I remembered when I was in first year college, we are instructed by our NSTP professor to prepare a speech about anything we want. he just wants us to talk in front. So I've prepared a speech which tackles about chain messages. My introduction was an example of a chain message normally received in cellphones. So in front of the class, I stood while looking at the floor .. and then I faced the audiences, smiled and uttered the words "I LOVE YOU". You know what? The first person my eyes have spotted right after I lift up my head is HIM. I will never ever forget that scenario. Of course, by that time, I haven't taken it as anything but now .. I think it's a sign .. a sign given to me .. a sign telling me that sooner ... I will fall for that guy. And I did. 

I have been warned but I haven't payed attention to it. And so, fate played with me. If you'll ask me if I ever regret loving him .. even if it has caused a lot of pain .. I never ever did. if I felt bad about it .. ? NO. NEVER. It was one of the best chapter in my life. I am thankful that I am so stupid I haven't noticed the signs right away .. I am thankful because I've been too foolish to let myself fall for him ... if those things never did happened .. I won't be this happy.