Haters gonna Hate

There is a very old issue but still roams around all the corners of my school ... and lately, I've just heard that it even reached provinces too (wow, I'm a celebrity). What a pathetic gossiper and a paparazzi I have at school. What the hell does she really want from me? I mean, I've already stopped communicating, and talking about her just to stop all those shit. But then, I still get news about it. The worst I've heard so far? That a parent from a far away province actually knows about me (take note, she knows my name as well) and that I don't even know whose parent that is and who the hell that student is. I am really enraged upon knowing the stupid news. What right do they have to talk about me? and besides, they don't personally know me, I bet that parent haven't seen me for a single time. And that student who told her mother about it? I don't know yet who she is, but the mother said that her child is a good friend of that stalker I have. Huh, she better keep all her secrets to herself and not blurt it all out to her 'good friend'. It's because that 'good friend' they call is the bitch that used to be my companion before. And now, she's ruining my life and I don't know why. I didn't do anything bad to her, swear. I've been a good acquaintance to her, that's why it's really a big question why is she still talking ill to me until now. I thought everything is ok after we talked about it face to face, but then she didn't stop. I think she wants the whole Philippines to know that bullshit she spreads about me. The moment I've heard of it, I really want to kill her. But then, what's the point of reacting too much? The gossip was not true. It's been a long time, it's actually three years now since she formulated that story and still do not stop. Wow. And until now, she keep on tracking all my activities and my personal life. What a big fan I have, and a hater as well. Well, when I see her at school, I'll just smile at her for sure. That kills her. My smile annoys her too much, maybe because she cannot contain seeing me having the courage to smile at her in spite of all she had been doing towards me. And killing her inside by my sweet smile is better than ever. 

:)

*I'm so sorry for the foul words. 

When you love someone, dont expect them to love you as much as you do. But love them so much that they dont want to be loved by anyone except you. ♥

POOR ME.

You know how madly, deeply, crazy in love I am with you. 

You know that whatever you do, I'd forgive you.

I hate that you know all of that.

I hate to see you take advantage of those weaknesses I have.

I hate to see you enjoy hurting me just because you know I'd still love you in spite of everything. 

just forget what he did. that would be enough.

My biggest mistake.

Does anybody care??

Thanks to you.

I KNOW I'M NOT IMPORTANT. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!

I'M MAKING ALL THE EFFORT TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY. THANKS TO ME.

God, you alone knows what's going on with me, and you are the only one who understands and cares. Thank you so much.

a big thanks to damn all of you for hurting me. 

But you always tell me you know that you're hurting me. Well, your actions speaks the other way around. I've been such a fool when I loved you, but never think that my mind is trash. I's still in reality. I know what's happening. I know that you're hurting me and it's too much. 

-------------------------

It hurts me whenever you ask me if I'm ok after doing something that caused my tears to flow all over my face. Are you fucking stupid???? 

Everyone gives up on me eventually.

I don’t feel good enough for any of my friends.

I know I probably should, but honestly, I don’t regret it at all.

I’m not sure how much longer I can handle going to school.

 Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than a text ever will.

It's what I'm trying to preserve. Other than that, none.

:/

Totoo yan teh! Magising ka sa katotohanan! Wag tanga!

Dear Lord,

I'm so sorry for being such a stubborn child of yours. I've been blinded by the feeling I had with that person, but now, my eyes are open. I saw everything and I pity myself for being such a loser. Lord, may you continually help me get through this. It's so painful but I know that what you are doing is for my own good. Lord, be my strength so that I will soon fully overcome this misery. And Lord, I pray for someone whom I deserve more. Someone who would not let me shed a tear because I'm hurt by his actions but rather, because of too much happiness I could not handle anymore. I pray that you will put my heart on someone's good and caring heart. Someone who would love me more than the love I deserve. And Lord, I pray that this man would come as soon as possible. Someone who would heal my heart. A child of yours that abides in your will oh Lord. 

This I pray in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen. 

I don't miss him today, and I guess it was a good thing. I can feel that I'm already moving on. I'll just have to wait for another week, and everything will be alright. I will soon be busy with my studies and I swear, I will focus on my lessons more. I don't have to waste my time on people who consider me as a waste of their time. Damn them! Damn you for hurting me! 

so .. I guess my part in your story is already over. :)))

I like :)

No hard feelings. Just happy thoughts. Everything will be alright soon. :D

I don't want to consider it, but I think I have already given up. After all the hurts I've been through, and all the tears I have already shed, the time has come for me to choose between loving him and loving myself. I really never wanted the idea, but yes, people just have to give up sometimes. Not because they are weak, but because they had been strong enough (at last) to let go of the things that bring nothing but heartaches and heartbreaks in their life. 

In my case, giving up on him doesn't mean I'm quitting. Everything will still be fine between us, like how we used to promise each other. We'd still be friends. I know I still love him, but not like how I loved him before. I think that's how I've given up.I don't mean that my love for him is not as strong as before ... I just want to say that I now know the limits I have, from which I have been blinded from earlier. 

AFTER ALL (LSS mode)

Well, here we are again; 

I guess it must be fate. 

We've tried it on our own, 

But deep inside we've known 

We'd be back to set things straight. 

I still remember when 

Your kiss was so brand new. 

Every memory repeats, 

Every step I take retreats, 

Every journey always brings me back to you. 

After All the stops and starts, 

We keep coming back to these two hearts, 

Two angels who've been rescued from the fall. 

After All that we've been through, 

It all comes down to me and you. 

I guess it's meant to be, 

Forever you and me, After All. 

When love is truly right 

(This time it's truly right.) 

It lives from year to year. 

It changes as it goes, 

Oh, and on the way it grows, 

But it never disappears, 

Always just beyond my touch, 

You know I needed you so much. 

After All, what else is livin' for? 

I'd like to get up soon. :/

I miss you last night

I miss you yesterday

I miss you today

And probably I would miss you tomorrow

But don't laugh at me

Because I promise you, one day

I'd learn not to miss you anymore

I am alone again at this point of time

And I can't resist thinking about what and how we used to be

It breaks my heart to realize those things slowly vanish

I never though we'd come to this

I wasn't warned, you haven't told me

that we'll end up like this

You promised not to hurt me but you did

No, it's not your fault, I know

It's mine because I haven't seen the limits in front

I'm so sorry if I'm acting like this

I was only shocked, I didn't expect this

I didn't mean to cry tonight

Just let me be like this for a while

I swear it won't take long

I will soon find my way to move on

~ladykyu

Yes, it will.

I'd like to write him a letter, but I don't know how would I start .. :/

Yes. Definitely. But closing it could very painful, if you know what I mean. Even if you know it wasn't worth to be read, but because you love it just the way it is, it would be very difficult for you to let go. 

Currently preparing myself for ....

please help me out.
please save me.
all i need is someone to talk to.
I am totally drained right now.
I don't know how far can I still handle all this.
My life sucks. 

Not really stressed about my studies. Everything is light as compared to the previous semesters I've been through. I'm more stressed with my love life. LOL.

I just love to end this week. I want more sleep! :D Good night pips! Time to do my research paper. :/