I HOPE NOT.

and in my heart of course. until that day. the day that we'll meet again. i swear you'll never be gone again. 

I doubt it if I could actually speak if I imagined you were there. All I want to do is to kiss you, whether you're physically present or just a mere imagination. And you know what? I would offer my life just so I could stare in that situation forever. That's why I haven't tried to do so. 

♥let's make a difference each day! :D

Thank God for the blessings in spite of life's difficulties :D

I woke up early because I was supposed to have a class at 8AM. Good thing I texted one of my classmates to clarify things and he sent the changed schedule of our classes. I now have a 3PM class instead of the earlier mentioned, so I was able to sleep more and enjoy the cold breeze brought by the rainy season. 

My first day in school was good enough. I wasn't late because I came earlier than my professor. haha. Anyway, the big smile on the face of one of my classmates made me feel better as I walk in our room. And well, his welcoming voice and friendly greeting added to the good start of my day. I didn't feel empty and alone because I have three of my classmates seat with me in the empty side of the room (empty because 90% of my classmates are on the other side, as if our room is limited only to that space). I finished the whole session and didn't regret my decision to go to school despite the insistent announcement of my schoolmate that there will only be a discussion today. Well, I've learned a lot of things today which I doubt I can gain in any other days of my life.

Anyhow, the bad news is, I was so excited to go home that I forgot my umbrella in our classroom. :/ 

So before I went to our room and enjoy the class, I've met one of my schoolmates in the stairs as I was going up, but I didn't bother to throw her a smile. I know it's not right, but I can't lie to her, because I really feel bad. Not because I'm sick physically, but I am emotionally towards her because of reasons that I don't want to take up now. I feel so bad about her that I literally posted my feelings in Facebook, but eventually I hid it because I don't want her to feel bad. And well, if she doesn't want me in her life then let it be. Anyway, my life became better when a number of people were put away in my life, though of course it saddens me. This is why I don't want any commitments anymore.

On the contrary, a blessing came to while I was walking outside our school in my way home. I checked my mobile phone and saw a text message telling that I qualified as a test administrator (where I applied and had my written exam yesterday). I don't know if being qualified is the same as being hired, but I'm so happy about it! :) Tomorrow will be an orientation and I have to be there at 8:30AM. I hope and I pray that this is it. I know God will help me on that job as He helped me in applying there. God is really good. In spite of my short comings, He's still good to me. 

Many bad things happen, but it's up to us whether to put our eyes on it or sort out and pick the more than many good things that happen each day. ~

~~~

Thank you so much Lord for this day. Please guide me as I go to the orientation tomorrow. I love you Lord! :D 

♥rainy morning ~

I just want to share that my profile picture in Facebook earned likes which I never expected to have since I haven't changed it to my own photo for like more than a year. After I had been a victim of a "minor cyber bullying", where my photo had been laughed at, I have not earned the guts again to show my face online. But now, as a good start for my recovery from all the bad things that happened to me, I start facing the things that I fear most, and one of them is posting my very own photo. I do not intend to be overly flattered or whatsoever, but I really appreciate how those friends, 'real friends' of mine see who I am. I mean, not only with the photo. After seeing who those people who liked my picture are, I just saw that no one even belonged to my acquaintances at my present school, which is pretty sad. And those people who liked it? They are the ones that I once neglected but gave their time when I needed them. Which is why, though I had been in the most traumatic rejection and brokenheartedness recently, I have gathered and braced myself immediately because of them. This whole summer (2 months) is so worthwhile and very well spent, because I had time to recollect and meet them again. Oh well, I don't want to be too emotional but I can't stop myself. Anyway, school days are now approaching, which is a bit sad because I have to face those people again. :/ But I don't have to be bitter anymore, because I know I'm ok and I'm  getting to full recovery. :))) 

So what's with my picture? Nothing really new, except with a a little bit daring look I've exhibited there. The red lipstick I used made my whole face glow, and I'd forever thank it for making me see what I should be. I mean, that photo have shown me not only how I should look physically, but how I should look at myself as well. Not with boastfulness, but I looked good there compared to my actual look right now. LOL. 

After everything I've been through, I think it's time for me to undergo metanoia. Change of heart, change of mind, change of how I see myself, change on how I see the things that happen around. I should begin to love myself now, so I could be better. This coming school year, I WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER ME. I WILL, I WILL, I WILL. :)))

I'm having fun downloading games and I'm loving it. :")

#simplethingsthathelpmeforget 

Our song is playing in my mind now and it sucks. :/

#I Just Want To

Any day spent with you is my favourite day. So, today is my new favourite day.

— Winnie the Pooh 

.. and my favorite year was last year. :/

All I need is to be held. To be told that I matter and that I am loved. I always feel so inadequate. I want to feel good enough again…and as much as I hate to say it, I need YOU to remind me that I am.

#I remember last summer

“Let’s just be happy that we’re together.”

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?

— Ernest Hemingway

No, I shouldn't. But yes, I miss you.

~Just got home from Laguna. I've spent a very worthwhile day with my high school friends. I've done a sort of talking and sleeping and a lot of eating, swimming and .... thinking. I've thought about him, about us, and it was the most unproductive thing I've done today. :/ I am hoping for that day that I will completely forget everything,... even his name. :) Just kidding. Good night!