disappointed. ://////////////

very disappointed. :((((((((((((((((((

After a very long time, I stumbled again in this blog. 

I miss posting. It's been months since I've last visited and shared my thoughts in here. I became very busy the past few weeks ..... with someone. :)) And that hindered me in opening my account again. 

But now, I'm here. And well, that is what's important.

I admit that I am not feeling very well right now. It's sad but I only remember my blog whenever sadness tries to eat me up just like now. But I would not share about the lonely things. Since this is the first time after a long time I've posted again, I would post something that caught my interest tonight.

Just as I was surfing the internet, I happen to open a page about Yoko Ono's 'art'. I'm sorry if I will not be able to elaborate it, but the thing is, Yoko Ono's photo which shows her old age caught me.I wasn't really interested though, for I didn't really know who she is. All I have in mind is that she's the second wife of John Lennon, a great musical icon. Am I right? Well, that's what my Beatle-fanatic-friend told me. :)

SO I searched for her name and have a glimpsed of her photos. She's not that beautiful in my eyes, but when I looked at her pictures, I realized her beauty lies behind. She's pretty in her own way. 

Next, I decided to search for her pictures with John Lennon, and that was what strikes me tonight. 

I didn't know what's with it, but when I saw their pictures together, I felt electricity inside. I love looking at them. They seem to be very happy together. I am not really fond of taking a look at a couple's photo, but theirs is different. I felt the love that lies in each one of them. I may sound funny right now, but I fell in love with both of them. hahaha! I mean, I like seeing their photos. I can't explain it, it's just true and amazing. That's when I felt that they really loved each other. I don't often feel this way, really.

They are good couple to look at. I may not know them but I like them together. I felt like I want to be Yoko Ono and I want to have my John Lennon. :)) 

Oh well, I wish I could find a love like that. Sincere, Realistic and True. 

I LOVE HIM, SO MUCH IT HURTS .........

Relationships fall and whither because eventually someone stops trying and it doesn't feel the same. The first couple of months or even years it may be the best thing you ever wished for, but eventually someone loses feelings, gets to busy, or doesn't even bother to try. You know why? Because they're comfortable. The beginning is all about the chase. Can you keep up? If you can then you'll get the hang of it and then you won’t want to try anymore. You aren't afraid to lose them because they're yours. Arguing leads to fighting and it just gets worse from there. It all flashes by so fast. So, cherish what you have.

So far so good naman ang aking buhay. Isang buwan at kalahati na akong di nakakaranas ng matinding depresyon. Umiyak man ako nitong nakaraang mga araw pero hindi na lumagpas pa ng 2 araw. Hindi rin sumagi sa aking isip na maglaslas o ano pa man. Magaan ang aking pakiramdam, hindi tulad noon na parang araw araw akong may problema. 

Siguro kasi ngayon natutunan kong mas i-appreciate ang mga magagandang bagay na nangyayari sa buhay ko. At ang pinakamahalaga ko pang natutunan ngayon ay ang wag pansinin ang mga taong naninira at gumugulo (sa di magandang paraan) sa buhay ko. Alam mo yun. Ang sarap ng feeling na malaya ka sa galit at poot. Na paggising mo sa umaga, magdadasal ka hindi dahil sasabihin mo kay Lord na natatakot kang harapin ang panibagong araw ng buhay kundi dahil magpapasalamat ka sa bagong pagkakataon para lumigaya at sumamba sa kanya. Na papasok ako sa paaralan ng di kinakabahan at naiinis sa mga taong nakikita ko, bagkus, excited pa kong makipagkwentuhan sa kanila at nakangiti akong papasok sa aming classroom. Na sa loob ng room eh hindi ako nakakaranas ng matinding pagod at hindi yung para akong may sakit. Yung lalabas ako ng paaralan na masaya at may ngiti sa labi. Na uuwi akong hindi pagod. Na may pagkakataon pa akong makipag-usap sa pamilya ko. Na di ako nagmamadaling gawin ang mga bagay dahil alam kong may sapat akong oras para gawin ang lahat ng yun .. di ako pressured. Na matutulog ako sa gabi, magdadasal na hindi puro hinanakit at sama ng loob ang isi-share ko kay God kundi kung gaano ako ka-thankful dahil binless niya ako ng sobra. Na sa pagpikit ng mata ko, walang mabigat sa dibdib ko kaya diretso ang tulog ko. 

Alam mo yun? Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na maging positibo sa buhay. Hindi ko naman sinasabing talagang laging positive ako. Sabi ko nga, ngayon ko pa lang ito natutunan at natututunan. May mga pagkakataon pa rin na nagiging nega ako, pero normal na bahagi naman yun ng buhay. Kasi kung overly positive naman hindi na rin maganda. Tsaka, hindi ko naman sinasabing wala na kong mga problema. May mga pagkakataon pa ring parang pagod na pagod na ko, na anlungkot ko, na ansama ng loob ko, na galit ako ... pero mas nami-minimize na yung mga ganung scenario ngayon. At kung magkaganun man, hindi na bayolente ang mga reaksyon ko.

HINDI NA GANITO NGAYON. :)))))

Ito ang nagagawa siguro ng may inspirasyon (naks naman! ako na talaga) at may masayang pamilya. Epekto din ito ng di pagpansin sa mga bagay na hindi naman makakatulong sakin para mag-grow. Basta ito lang masasabi ko. Ang sarap mabuhay. Kung noon gusto ko ng mamatay, ngayon ... hindi naman ako natatakot mamatay pero mas ok pa rin ang extended ka ... mas marami pang magagawa at pwedeng maranasan. :)))

The first to apologize is the bravest. 
The first to forgive is the strongest. 
The first to forget is the happiest.

When we feel being poisoned by stress, pressure, pain and failures: the best ANTIDOTE is to PRAY. Nothing more, nothing less...:)

Whatever the situation may be.. Don't ever be cold to someone you care about.. Indifference and unanswerable questions hurts more... than angry words...

So me! LOL

Jesus and Satan competed on the
computer.
They started typing. They did reports, e-mails,
attachment s and downloads.
But before the time was up,
Brownout came!
Satan cursed.
Jesus sighed.
When electricit y was back,
Satan lost everything he had
done.
But Jesus started
printing all His files.
Satan shouted:
YOU CHEATED!
Jesus just smile. because He did what Satan
didn't know.
HE SAVES. :)

I love my relationship with my BED. No commitment needed. We just sleep together EVERY NIGHT. ♥