De Moi

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Love usually ends in pain and hurt…but that doesn't mean that it’s not worth it.~~

22 October 2011

Renewable Marriage

Just to inform you, Renewable Marriage is having an expiration date on the marriage license. It is a proposed bill here in the Philippines that pursue a 10 year life span for a marriage license. After this period, the couple have the opportunity to decide whether they want to renew it or not. If not renewed, it means that their marriage have been nulled or void or simply, they are separated.

It was a bill made by very intelligent minds. How could someone think of it? He or I may say, they are really men of brains. 

But well, if you would ask me if I am in favor of this, well, ... let me tell you this.
I am not yet a professional and I admit that I know very minimal about this issue. I may not be a reliable person to talk about this, but please just bear with me as I share whatever a mind of a typical teenager has regarding this subject. 

As a Christian, of course I am not in favor of this, especially that the Catholic Church, which I have been one, is after the sanctity of marriage. It is not a game, it is a commitment not only between the couple but also with God. Married people have promised that they will love each other until their last breath, so the expiration of marriage is not good to consider. 

Also, if it would actually happen, when most couples felt tired about their marriage without any valid reason, they would just wait for that expiration date. The one who will be left out will be severely affected, most especially their kids. This would also increase the number of broken families in our society. 

Moreover, this idea would also trigger individuals to take marriage as a 'trial and error' thing. This would also promote infidelity, and it simply tells us that we could try everybody, which is very disgusting. It was like prostitution being legalized. It would actually spread sex-related diseases, which would contradict the other hot bill, which is the reproductive health bill in some ways like when you try this woman, then after ten years another woman... then another on the next. But yeah, it would also support the RH Bill by having safe sex within couples especially when they have planned and have known that after ten years they will separate, so they should not have kids so that no one will be affected. 

See how disgusting this idea goes? And if this happens, where's the love? This thing that keeps everyone going and alive, where would it be? Do you think there will still be love after these things? It's as if marriage would not be out of love but out of nothing, just a mere lust and attraction.

Also, if this would ever happen, it will just be an additional burden to families because they have to pay every ten years for the renewal of the license. It would be very stressful.

But well, if more personal reasons would be taken, a part of my mind actually agrees with it. Like if it would ever happen, I could have the opportunity to marry the man that I love even if he's married right now. I'll just have to wait for their marriage's expiry and then we could do what we want. Also, it would be a great test to a husband because after ten years and then when he choose to still renew your marriage, it would prove how much he loves you, which is a very sweet thing. 

But well at the end, this would affect everybody and more on negative side effects, so this is not favorable. I may wish to have that man who have already been taken by someone else, but I don't want to ruin his children's life (but if they don't have children, I will push myself for it. Just kidding!). After all, I don't want to experience being left behind by my husband someday .... and I can't imagine myself when my husband would tell me that he doesn't want to renew our marriage anymore. It would hurt me a lot.

The faithful husband. :) I love it. :)


;' )


yiheee!!!!!!!!!!!! parang ako lang kagabi .. :)


The DEADLY Terms! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!


What about the girl stupid enough to love you after you've married another? IS SHE THE ONE? :)


The essence of a WOMAN

I have seen this last night in Facebook. I don't have any accurate knowledge about the unit and measures of pain, but reading this have really made me stand up on my sit, applaud and salute all the moms out there. Yeah, I know I look stupid but well, this is incredible. This is really amazing. 

Women are the carriers of life that God has made. They are the ones who take care of it in their wombs. Isn't it very hard to have something inside your tummy for 9 months? Yes, women's body are built for it, but imagine the sacrifice they undergo for it. For that span of time they are living their lives not just for themselves but also for that special someone inside them who needs them so much. Isn't it  fearful while you wait for that 9th month? Just think of yourself in the 8th month, after all the precautions .. the days are passing so fast .. you have to be ready for that final day. The Labor Day. One of the most painful days. And of course, the DELIVERY.

This is something that we should always keep in our minds and hearts. Our MOMS are not ordinary people. They are EXTRAORDINARY. They are SPECIALLY MADE by GOD for a special mission ..and that is, to take care of us in their womb. 

Now, if you are living whether a good or bad life right now, it's not a reason to hate your mom and blame her for having you here in this world. THE MERE FACT THAT YOU ARE ALIVE IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD THANK FOR. Especially if you're a boy, you would never experience this sacrifice, so whatever grudges you have against women, just shut your mouth up.

I personally want, of course, to have my own children someday. Before, I was really afraid about this idea because they say it is very painful to bear a child. But well, it's what women are made for. .. and that's what I look forward to. :)

That's more like it! :)


21 October 2011

SEMBREAK!!! wooohoooo!!!! FINALLY!!!


Forgiven


This is the post that I have seen in my newsfeed in Facebook. It was very timely. A while ago,. we had this celebration in our classroom and we have to give each and everyone a letter. I have this letter to a former friend which contains the words written in Matthew 6:14-15 from the Bible. It says there that if we forgive those who have done wrong to us, God will also forgive us. 

So that was what I've said to her .. and upon opening my Facebook account, I saw this. I was blessed today. I am already forgiven. :) Thank you so much LORD! 

20 October 2011

I love the way you lie.

It's funny when someone lies to me and then I ask him about it as if I didn't know what he's doing and he feels like I was so stupid because he can fool me. 

I wonder who among us look definitely foolish, absolutely stupid and certainly idiotic.

How'd you let go?

The Art of Letting Go

Put away the pictures, put away the memories
I go over and over through my tears
I’ve held them ’til I’m blind, they kept my hope alive
as if somehow that might keep you here
won’t you believe in a love forevermore
how do you leave it in a drawer
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that’s holding on
how do I start to live my life alone
guess I’m just learning, learning the art of letting go
Try to say it’s over, say the word good bye
but each time it catches in my throat
you’re still here with me and i can’t set you free
so I hold on to what i wanted most
maybe someday we’ll be friends forevermore
wish I could open up that door
Now here it comes the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that’s holding on
how do I start to live my life alone
guess I’m just learning, learning the art of letting go
What can I say, what can I do
but try to make it through the pain
not one more day without you
Where do I start to live my life alone
I guess I’m learning, I’ll be learning
learning the art of letting go

For two consecutive days?! Same color of shirts?! Oh c'mon!

An Updated Version of Me

I've lost interest .. now, who's fault is it? :I

19 October 2011

:'(

 I asked God why he didn't give me the one that I love. 

Then He answered me .. 

"..because you love the one I've made for someone else ... "

17 October 2011

Taylor Swift - Back To December

Lord, I pray for him .. whatever it is he is in right now. In Jesus' name I pray, AMEN.

16 October 2011

Pag-ibig Ko Sanay Mapansin



This was the song I have sang for my ex boyfriend when we are in Batangas during our retreat... I've just remembered. hahaha! :))

Before, I used to say .. "Las Piñas siya, Cavite ako .. " because he lives in LPC and I'm in Cavite. :))

I don't know how was he right now. We last talked during our graduation day in the year 2005. Well, I don't care about him.

I've just thought .. before, when I was younger, I wished that whoever you had or loved that time, that was the one that will God give you. But fortunately, it isn't. If so, I will be sure now that he's the one, and thinking about it, it sucks! hahaha! Of course I say this because my love for him was already gone .. but being in love with him was one of the most stupid things I have done in my life. hahaha!

DI KO NA KAYA .. PROMISE. T . T

'Di ko na kaya pang itago
Ang nararamdaman sa iyo

Umaasang ikaw sana'y mayakap



'Di ko na kaya pang ilihim
Nasasaktan lang ako

Sa 'king pag-iisa, hinahanap ka


CHORUS

'Di ko kailangan ng kayamanan

Puso mo ang tangi kong inaasam

Hindi ko kayang ikaw ay malayo
Mawalay ka sa piling ko


Sana ay ikaw ang kapalaran

Sa bawat araw ay aking mahahagkan

Habang ang buhay ko ay narito

Handa kong ibigay sa iyo



INTERLUDE



[Repeat 2nd Stanza]

[Repeat CHORUS]



BRIDGE

Kay sarap damhin

Ang tunay na pagmamahal

Katulad nitong pag-ibig ko sa 'yo



CHORUS

'Di ko kailangan ng kayamanan

Puso mo ang tangi kong inaasam

Hindi ko kayang ikaw ay malayo

Mawalay ka sa piling ko


Sana ay ikaw ang kapalaran

Sa bawat araw ay mahahagkan

Habang ang buhay ko ay narito

Handa kong ibigay sa iyo

Shocks .. ang hirap itago. T . T

            Alam mo yung pakiramdam na in love ka ..at alam na alam mo yun ..at di mo man lang masabi kahit kanino .. kasi walang mapagkatiwalaan sa paligid mo .. kasi alam mong lahat sila di maiintindihan ang pinagdadaanan mo ... Nakakaasar right? Hindi mo malaman kung nasasaktan ka ba o ano e .. may kakaibang feeling kasi sa dibdib. Grabe. Parang nagpipigil lang ng galit. Ang hirap. Parang di ako makahinga. Parang kasalanan pag nabanggit ko siya. Grabe talaga. Ayoko ng ganito. Nakakainis. Kaya naiinggit ako sa mga taong may bestfriend na well trusted talaga e... buti pa sila may napagsasabihan ng nararamdaman nila. Ako wala. Oo, siguro nga kasalanan ko rin dahil bakit di ako magtiwala kahit kanino sa dami ng taong nakapaligid sakin . e kasi naman .. kung ikaw nasa kalagayan ko ngayon maiintindihan mo ako for sure. Ang hirap mabuhay kung napapaligiran ka ng mga taong ang gusto sila lang ang pinakikinggan. Tapos yung iba naman nangangakong papakinggan ka pero huhusgahan ka naman. Yung iba naman sadyang wala lang talagang interes sayo. Ang hirap. Nakakaiyak. Ahai ... ayoko talaga ng ganito .. :((((((((

NEVER QUIT. NO MATTER WHAT. :))

A quitter never wins .. 
So I will never quit ... 

Until I win your heart ♥. :))




Jet Lag



Soundtrip!! :) GOOD MORNING!

15 October 2011

Pampasaya sa Tanghali. LOLz! :)

BONGBONG: can we talk?
NOYNOY: who you?
BONGBONG: kapal mo! you deleted my number na?
NOYNOY: kupal ka pala eh. sino ka ba?
BONGBONG: gago! senator BONGBONG here.
NOYNOY: tae ka! why would i have your #?

BONGBONG: di ka ba talaga pwedeng makausap nang matino?
NOYNOY: di tayo close, you know that!
BONGBONG: ulol! we have a lot of things in common, tandaan mo ‘yan.
NOYNOY: magkaiba tayo.
BONGBONG: ‘di ah! pangalan pa lang natin, pareho na! bong-bong! noy-noy!
NOYNOY: tanga! anong pareho dun!? magkaiba ‘yon. ferdinand ka, benigno ako.
BONGBONG: see? kapangalan pa natin ang ating mga ama.
NOYNOY: bobo! junior ka, the third ako. malaki ang difference no’n.
BONGBONG: pati sa mga kapatid natin, may similarity tayo. ‘yong panganay naming si ate IMEE: saksakan nang ‘tigas ng ulo noong dalaga. kapag nagustuhan ang lalaki, nagrerebelde.
NOYNOY: sira! hindi ganun ang panganay naming si ate ballsy.
BONGBONG: ha-ha-ha! sinong may sabing si ballsy ang tinutukoy ko?
NOYNOY: huwag mong idamay si viel, tahimik ‘yon.
BONGBONG: sige na nga. regards na lang kay kris. joke!
NOYNOY: namemersonal ka na!
BONGBONG: ikaw ang nagsimula!

NOYNOY: fault ko pa? sino bang sumisira sa diwa ng edsa? singapore your face! I’ve got two words for you: “martial law!”
BONGBONG: ah gano’n? babalikan na naman natin ang nakaraan? do not provoke me!
NOYNOY: really? here’s another: “marcos cronies!”
BONGBONG: pakyu ka! “kamag-anak incorporated!”

NOYNOY: “plaza miranda bombing!”
BONGBONG: “mendiola massacre!” hoy! wala kang alam sa history! si joma sison ang nambomba sa plaza miranda! ‘yon ang nasa libro ni ka jovy salonga!
NOYNOY: ah basta!
BONGBONG: ha-ha-ha naubusan ka na ng bala!

NOYNOY: noong panahon ng tatay mo, walang freedom of the press!
BONGBONG: noong panahon ng nanay mo, walang kuryente!

NOYNOY: marcos billions sa europa!
BONGBONG: whatever! hacienda luisita!
NOYNOY: engot! in five years, ipapamahagi na namin ‘yon!
BONGBONG: i don’t believe you! gawin mo muna!

NOYNOY: wala ka na sa Bagong Lipunan. wake up!
BONGBONG: wala ka na sa poder ng nanay mo, grow up!

NOYNOY: teka nga! bakit ka ba text nang text?
BONGBONG: eh bakit reply ka nang reply?
NOYNOY: ano ba talagang gusto mo?
BONGBONG: simple lang, state funeral and an honorable burial para sa aking tatay sa Libingan ng mga Bayani.

NOYNOY: that’s not for me to decide.
BONGBONG: i’m not surprised.
NOYNOY: what do you mean?
BONGBONG: wushuuu! aminin mo, hindi naman talaga ikaw ang nagdedecide sa government kundi ang mga taong nakapaligid sa ‘yo eh!

NOYNOY: that’s democracy.
BONGBONG: that’s weakness.

NOYNOY: hindi ako diktador!
BONGBONG: oops, i’m sorry mr. symbolic president.
NOYNOY: sumusobra ka na! ang pagiging sobra ang dahilan kung bakit kayo pinalayas ng people power sa edsa. you’re way out of line!

BONGBONG: out of line??? no! we’re so back! isa sa senado, isa sa kamara at isang gobernadora.
NOYNOY: WALANG STATE BURIAL!
BONGBONG: ha-ha-ha, now you’re talking! fine!

NOYNOY: tapusin na natin ‘tong usapang ‘to. stop txting me!
BONGBONG: agad? i’m just warming up.
NOYNOY: maghanap ka ng kausap mo.
BONGBONG: may ipapakilala akong chick. 25 lang. maputi, mahilig sa jazz music.
NOYNOY: huwag mo akong daanin sa babae. sa dami ng problema ng bansa these days, women are the least of my concerns.
BONGBONG: talaga? ok. fine. bye!
NOYNOY: sandali lang!!! chinita ba?

Note: BONGBONG Marcos didn’t reply. An aide said, “Na-check operator services po si Sir.”

Muntik Na Kitang Minahal

I so love this song.. !!! :D

I'm bored. :I

I wasn't supposed to be bored. I should have been very busy right now because I have to finish everything before noon time, but still I don't do anything. Yes, I might look stupid, but all I do is stare in my monitor and that's it. I have already spent an hour doing that. tsss.... 

Well, ah .. I confess that I am missing so badly right now. I don't know who, but I am longing for someone. Yeah, I just need to have someone beside me, which I don't. The fact that I am here all alone in our house kills me, even if I am so used to it. I feel lonely. I feel empty. I am free to go out and have fun, but I prefer to stay here inside my room and just sit. I feel tired .. I don't know why. Ah... I'm really bored to death. I hope I could write anything right now .. something sensible.  Ah. !!!!!

Wherever You Will Go

I don't wanna miss a thing


Whenever I hear this song, I remember a classmate way back when I was in third year high school. It was a sunny morning, we are having our intramural and our foundation week as well. There are different booths and one of them is the 'Most Requested Song Booth'. He was so funny because he keeps on requesting this song and he would actually spend all his money for it. That week, we were amazingly very close with each other, which isn't usual during normal school days. My friends were like, "What's going on with you two?" and they believe that the song he always requested was for me. We just laughed about it.

Well, after that week, we have parted. I mean, not literally, but we were back to our normal lives, not too close from each other. We still talk, but as usual classmates. It was just like a .. one week happy bonding. No emotions attached. Maybe a bit physical, but it didn't exceed to the limit. :)

I've just shared this because it's one of the memories I want to stay here in my blog. I know someday I would be forgetting these kind of memories, so for now, let me cherish it as I can. :)

14 October 2011

It's wrong for me to stay and love you .. .

Fate led you straight to me
You came and suddenly
I was weak beyond control

I had given you my soul
My life was no longer mine.

Chorus:
I love you more than life itself
I never loved anyone else
I've tried to stop myself so many times
It hurts me

A love like ours
Where can it go?

I must be strong
'Cause now i know
It's wrong for me to stay and love you.

One life won't let love grow
It has no place to go
So you tell yourself be strong
But the world tells you you're wrong
'Cause life has the final say.
(Repeat Chorus)
(Instrumental)

Coda:
A love like ours
Where can it go?
I must be strong
'Cause now I know
It's wrong for me to say
Wrong for me to stay
And love you
And love you.

13 October 2011

The only thing I can't wait for. LOL


You're weird and that's what I like most about you. :)


iwantyou

I know you don't know this, but all I really want is you. i wish I could have you for at least a day. I just want to experience how it is to call you as my own. I really want you. I want you so badly that if this would happen even in my dreams, I will surely beg the Lord not to wake me up anymore. I know you don't want me, I don't care about it. I WANT YOU. IT'S ONLY YOU WHOM I AM WISHING FOR. IT'S ONLY YOU THAT I LIKE. IT'S YOU THAT I LOVE.

WAIT

This is one thing that I have been an expert of. I am fond of waiting. I used to be impatient before, but now I learned how to wait. Well, it's one of the worst things a man can do. To wait is to kill yourself, especially when you are waiting for something you don't know if will ever come. 

There is just one thing that I have been waiting for. It's you. LOL. Kidding aside, I was actually waiting for someone .. but .. ah .. I'm murdering myself. The outcome appears to be impossible, but still I'm hoping. I won't stop waiting and hoping until the answer is in my hands.


IT KILLS ME. REALLY.

Yes. I admit it. NOT TALKING TO YOU KILLS ME. It's as if talking to you has been a very important part of my life. It's like a life support that once it is taken out, I would die. It's like oxygen that I need in every second of my life. It's like food that once I forgot to take up, I will feel dizzy and I have less energy. That's how precious your time for me is. That's how I value you in my life. The simple things like talking to you is my life.

I just have this one wish ... please. .. STAY and TALK TO ME ALWAYS. :)

Laugh Trip to grabe! XD

Shower Me With Your Love

I'm so tired of you. ...

I think it will never gonna work out. No matter how we try to connect, it's just simply not meant to be. This is not about a lover, it's about a friend. We are trying to pick up the pieces again after it has all been scattered, but well, as we try to assemble things back again, one wrong move and it all crashes out. I simply hate this. If it will just turn out negatively, then I would prefer us to be ok and just stay like that. I guess we should not try to make up with each other. It's just going so wrong. We just have to accept that we don't fit to be friends with each other.

I really want him to stay, but instances dictates that he shouldn't. He's so unreachable that the things that my mind could touch is nothing as compared to him. I get really sick with his expectations, asking me to think the way he thinks. That kills me. Can't he just recognize the fact that I am not as intelligent or as grave thinker like him? Can't he just admit to himself that I was the most stupid girl he could ever talk with and just accept me just as I am? 

I really feel sad about it. I am always on the wrong side, and I really know I am. It's just that I am really having a hard time to be what he wants me to be. I openly admit to him that his mind is unfathomable, that I can't understand everything that he utters. .. but he doesn't believe it.

I know that this won't take long. In the next days, I will find myself again alone. He will be gone soon in my life because of my foolishness. I have to be ready. I have to condition myself so that when he finally decides to leave, I will not be gravely affected.


But now, this idea really KILLS ME. :(

The reason behind the posts today. :)

I'm not in love. I just want to write things like those that I have posted earlier. I don't know. I just feel like it.

For the past three years I have been this girl who 'fears commitments'. I mean, yeah. I am really afraid of having intimate relationships with any opposite sexes. It happened after the worst break up I have experienced before. After that great event, I didn't see myself settling for anyone. 

In the course of my existence, even though I fear having relationships (not only with opposite sex actually, it also made me have a hard time to make friends with anyone .. really!) I still manage to try to at least socialize with anyone. At first it wasn't easy. I'd rather have no one by my side than have someone who would just hurt me. In terms of opposite sex, I have been into them as well. I had a crush and I fell in love. .. but I never settled with anyone after that last someone. I am more on having flings and mutual understandings, and that's it. For me, that's more practical. I don't have to attend too much with them. I don't have the right to get hurt and be attached too much. That was cool, but not necessarily safe. I still have this tendency of being hurt, but I find it minimal than which I have experienced before. 

Well, I have this strange feeling inside me .. I can't figure it out. I was really fond of dreaming about having someone with me right now. Does it mean I am now ready again to accept and engage myself into a relationship? Does it indicate that the fear I had with me for the past three years is now gone?

I want to meet the man who would sing this song for me. :)

There are times when I just want to look at your face
With the stars in the night
There are times when I just want to feel your embrace
In the cold night

I just can't believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You're all I need to be here with forevermore
All those years, I've longed to hold you in my arms
I've been dreaming of you
Every night, I've been watching all the stars that fall down
Wishing you would be mine

Time and again
There are these changes that we cannot end
As sure as time keeps going on and on
My love for you will be forevermore
Wishing you would be mine
I just can't believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You're all I need to be here with forever more
(As endless as forever
Our love will stay together)
You're all I need
To be here with forevermore...

How I wish a man like this exist.

Jealous


It's so funny to remember how I used to be so jealous of his girl. I was this young lady who secretly likes this man who happened to finally have someone by his side. I really wished that time that I would be that one with him. I am always day dreaming about how would it be if I were her. That was silly, I know. That's one of the funniest memories I had, and the most embarrassing too.

Well, I have just realized that I could never be her. Yes, just now (joke!). Ah .. ok. So kidding aside, I have actually thought about it now and I knew I cannot replace her. I mean, aside from the fact that I COULD REALLY NEVER BE IN HER PLACE, I realized that I CAN NEVER DO WHAT SHE COULD DO. Do you understand my point?

Jealous of the girl who caught your eye
One of my darker days
When you looked at her where was I?
Shoulda been in her place, here I am
All alone imagining what could have been
If I had been there


As I have read and heard this line, I have imagined if I were actually on that same time they have met each other. I know that he won't notice me. Not just because I am not really attractive, but because HE WASN'T REALLY MEANT FOR ME. It's that even though I am on that time, they will still be the perfect couple. That's when I know I believe in destiny. That whatever happens, there's this someone who is really meant for you. That no matter how you believe that it depends on your hands and mind, still, everything seems to follow a plan, and that's what makes love so magical. So even if I was there, HE WOULD STILL CHOOSE HER.

Well, realizing this things doesn't hurt me. I have felt this admiration for him for so long, now, I have finally move on. Sometimes when I hear this song, I remember him and the other guys whom I have been into. This have marked in my life, and it had shared me lessons necessary to live life.

Jealousy is natural. It's an emotion, I think. It becomes a sin when you sin because of it. Personally, I believe that we should not blame anyone when they feel being jealous. I mean, they're human, we are all human, so everyone has felt it, may be in different circumstances, but still it happened for once in your life.

I am not happy that I have experienced this, though I am not ashamed to say that for once I have been jealous with his girl, because that time, it was the indicator that have told me that I was into him. :)


♥ Marry Your Daughter ♥


How I wish I would be the same bride. It's so nice to know that there's this other one who would bravely face my dad and my mom and tell them that he would take care of me for the rest of his life. :) Whenever I hear this song, I feel excited to see my future, who will be the man God had perfectly planned for me and how things will gonna work out when we are already together.

Honestly, I am this 'bitter lady' who never wants to see a happily ever after in a movie and a story, who always wish for a tragic ending, who doesn't want to see anyone having their wedding and a baby. That's how I was...before. Maybe because of the painful experiences I had with having relationships, that's why I became like this.

Somewhat I am still the same, but I'm trying to pull myself away from it. I am now learning to feel free to dream of myself having this wonderful wedding and a happy family. I am now becoming appreciative when I see people happy with their loved ones. I am trying to turn the bitterness into sweetness. :)

Well, I am still young and my priorities for now is my studies. But when this time comes that I will be planning my life with my other half, I wish and I pray that it would be the nicest thing that would ever happen to me. That time, I will not be alone ... because there's this someone whom God had finally given me as my companion. :)

AMAZING! :)


1. Focus on red dot in the centre.
2. See what happens to the blue circle.

11 October 2011

Touch and Go - Rupert Holmes (Visual Interpretation)



Nobody said that
Life is always fair
Sometimes it clips your wings
While you're in mid-air
But there's a thread
Between your life and mine
And when you're losin' hope
This rope won't unwind

REFRAIN:
Hold on tight
'Cause life is touch and go
It's sink and swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call
To break your fall
I'll never leave you
Even when life
Is touch and go
Or hit and run
We'll never break
If we take it as one
I'm here to stay,
I pray you know
I'll never touch
I'll never touch and go

Someday you'll find
There's nothin' in the night
That wasn't there before
You turned out the light
Straight from your mind
The monster 'neath your bed
The voices in the hall
They're all in your head

REFRAIN:
Hold on tight
'Cause life is touch and go
It's sink and swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call
To break your fall
I'll never leave you
Even when life
Is touch and go
Or hit and run
We'll never break
If we take it as one
I'm here to stay,
I pray you know
I'll never touch
I'll never touch and go

When you feel lost
You're only spun around
Tumbled and tossed
But never run around
Life is a townful
Of strangers at best
I'll help you home
God help the rest

REFRAIN:
Hold on tight
'Cause life is touch and go
It's sink and swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call
To break your fall
I'll never leave you
Even when life
Is touch and go
Or hit and run
We'll never break
If we take it as one
I'm here to stay,
I pray you know
I'll never touch
I'll never touch and go

Life is touch and go
It's sink or swim
But never doubt
If you're out on a limb
I'll get the call...

Terminal - Rupert Holmes



I've come back this mornin' to where I first came alive
Here within this terminal where the buses arrive
I was a commuter on the 804
Work for a computer on the 19th floor and...

You came down the aisle of the bus and you sat by my side
Shoulder up to shoulder we shared that 9 o'clock ride
Oh, my heart was screamin' as you left your seat
Followin' your movements I was at your feet and...

Oh, down into the terminal both of us smiled
So we entered the terminal just as you smiled
"Won't you leave out work for today?" you ask of me then
So I phoned-in-sick on the way to the home of a friend
We were all alone from 10 A.M. till 3
Really thought the fire had gone out of me but...

You awoke the sleep of my life from gray into red
Made the weary wonder of Wall Street rise from the dead
Could have held up budding my entire life
But I had to get home to the kids and the wife and...
So I left for the terminal where I began
Baby, no, I wouldn't have left if I'd been half a man

So here I am this morning where love had asked for the dance
Here within this terminal where I passed on a chance
Lord, I'll never find her though I've truly tried
Probably she's found another bus to ride and...

I am now about to begin the last of my days
I'm within what others would call a terminal phase
I myself can only say it's livin' dead
Ridin' to the office with a song in my head that goes...

La da da...
And you know it grows
La da da...
Oh, la da da...
Oh, la da da...

10 October 2011

My fear.

Do you know what I have with me right now? 

It's the fear that I might fall in love with you again ...

And I don't and won't let it to happen. 

I promise.

09 October 2011

beeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiii

I have been very busy lately that's why I didn't post anything. I really wish I could write everything that's on my mind because I always feel that I will be forgetting everything when I grow older .. but I can't. All I could actually do is to put everything in my heart. 

Well, nothing so special ever happened to me these past few days. It's just that I have passed my examinations (of course except in statistics), and I have spent a lot of days with my family (and I already had two nights that I have slept in our house with our WHOLE family.) I have also reconciled with my past hurts and my friends before are getting close again with me. Whoa! I was wrong. Everything that happened was indeed special. These are the things I thought would never happen again. I was so happy and of course, thankful to the Almighty Father. He has blessed me a lot. But I pray that He would not just take all of this away in one snap. I mean, He could prolong my happiness. I have been through a lot of heartaches and failures in the last months that passed. I really don't deserve these blessings, after all the mistakes that I have done .. but still God is so good. :))

07 October 2011

First post after a long time, and it's about how I hate everything.

 

This day had been .. ah .. I can't describe it. How could you define a day of a big shit. Everything that happened isn't just nice. I mean, everything seems ruined.

I wasn't really feeling that bad. It's just that after a very stressful week, here comes the big day. 

I am really tired. I haven't slept for the past few days 'coz I'm busy doing my projects which until now is not yet through. When I woke up this morning, it was like my body don't like to separate with my bed. And then at school, when I arrive, I will see a lot of bullshits there (I'm so sorry for the term). 

Morning. I was so annoyed at everything that I see. I felt dizzy. I didn't talk with anyone and I've tried to entertain no one. Yeah, I'm bad, but I wasn't really in the mood.

Lunch. A bunch of bitches around me. There's this someone who brags about everything with herself. Honestly, I don't like her. She's so fond of telling stories over and over again .. it's so tiring. She keeps on telling she's above everyone .. duh?! She's nothing but a big ugly duckling. 
There's also this someone who annoyed me because of his non-stop expression that I am boastful. What the hell is he talking about? I know it's his new expression, but please, could he just shut his mouth up? I haven't done anything wrong with him, I mean, I'm just somewhere telling a story and then he tells me that thing. I really hate it.
There's also this girl I've been with whose very disgusted with one of our classmates who happened to have undergone with chicken pox last week. She keeps on telling that she finds it gross. Didn't she know that she looks more gross than that of our classmate?? I hate her.
There's also this a, group of classmates I have. They are the best shits I've ever met this day. They're simply stupid. We are talking about one thing and they are encouraging us to speak our ideas for the brainstorming. And you know what?? The moment you delivered your idea and explain it, they would drop it (without you even having plotted your point yet) and then they'll get angry. Wow. Very intelligent people. 
And there's this one guy who kept on telling things and when I ask him what it is all about, he would tell "you know it". What the! Would I ask if I knew it?? Do I read minds? Do I know everything? 
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

For short, my day's so messed up. I wanna scream!!! I really wanna tell the whole wide world how much I hate everything today !!!! But well, I know, the world won't care, because it doesn't even know me and that I exist.

I just hate this day. I'm really sorry. I'm human. I have emotions. I feel angry and you can't do anything about it.

26 September 2011

This is how I was damaged by the strong rains. ...

I am really expecting a text message from him. I mean, yeah, I may appear desperate but I am really waiting for it. My mind keeps on telling me the whole day that I am just wasting my time expecting nothing .. and that deep inside I know he won't even remember me ..but I really just can't deny the fact that ... that .. that .. I .. miss him and I am constantly thinking about him.

 Rains, storms, strong winds, reports about these things makes me remember him. I worry so much how was he, if has he arrived home safe. I wonder if he has brought with him an umbrella, or if he is now suffering from severe cold inside the air conditioned bus because he was wet. Oh well, I am really insane. I hate myself so much. I am such a fool to be like this. I really hate myself. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After this insanity, I end up realizing that I am such a big fool. That person doesn't even think about me, like what he had said before, he even hasn't remember me if nothing comes through his way that will remind him of me. He's so bad! How could I like a person like him who doesn't even care if I exist. AHHHH!!!!

I think what I should do is I'll just have to sleep and forget about these things. Yes, this is the best idea. I hope when I wake up, I won't remember anything.

It's better to have amnesia than to be hurt by constantly reminiscing the past that I can never ever bring back. :l

22 September 2011

Bawal mag react!

dear czarina,

lagi man tayong nag aaway, kaibigan pa din ang turing ko sayo. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito na lng lagi ang nangyayari?pero sa totoo lang di ko talaga kaya na nag aaway tayo lagi,un bang simpleng tampuhan pag di na nagpansinan aun wala na tingin na ng iba away na. na realized ko na malaking kawalan ka pala sa akin lalo na sa school yun bang lagi ka na lng nasa isip ko, o kaya di talaga ako makapakali na may namamagitang tampuhan sa atin (ang hirap kaya non) nakakapagod na talagang umiwas lalo na't maliit lang ang school at mag ka klase pa tayo, nakakailang din kaya...sana maintindihan mo na kaya lang naman ako nagkakaganito dahil sa mga dahilang simple lang.. hope you understand :) sorry sa mga kasalanang nagawa ko :)

.peace na tayo :))

. i love you as a friend

love,
wendy
— at sm mall of asia.

Sleepy. :))

My eyes goes like this. LOL. Yeah .. I mean .. I am really sleepy but I can't sleep because I know I have a lot of things to do .. but whenever I start doing those .. my eyes automatically shut. But when I walk to my bed, I become awake and here I am! Posting anything that I want. Well, ah .. I've just realized that 24 hours isn't really enough to accomplish everything. I mean, if I really wanted to do all those things on my list .. It would take me a week .. straight .. without sleep. But of course I can't do that. I am human, I have limitations and that's what is driving me so envious about machines. But I don't wish to be a machine .. . I just like how strong they are to handle everything. But you know what, even my computer retires .. I have restarted it for a lot of times because I think it's also as tired as me. LOL. 

By the way, before I jump off to my bed, I want to share some bits about how was my day. Hmm .. I haven't done my assignment in Filipino because I was so sleepy last Tuesday night, but thank God I have finished my assignment in Sociology. In the morning, I've tried to do it but I lack time .. I am actually late because I was supposed to leave the house at 6:30 am but I had it 7:00. Oh well, yeah .. there's heavy traffic but I didn't mind .. why? It's because I was so entertained by the music played on the jeepney I am riding on. The driver plays the Air Supply hits and wow ... what a wonderful morning it is! I have prayed that the song Two Less Lonely People be played and it was granted. I so thank God for it. And then, I wasn't really late because I have been in Southland at 7:30, but the problem is that there is heavy traffic again going to Lopez. So I've slept and the moment I woke up, I was on the place where I have to leave the jeepney. Then I called for the jeepneys but the first two ignored me. Then the third one was kind enough to fetch me. I have planned that I will sit behind the passenger's seat so that I could sleep but I failed.

One thing that I didn't expect is that, I saw Alchris, the lad Geralyn has always been telling us, her one and only love. :))) He was wearing black shades but I recognized him on his eyebrows and lips. Then when he did put off his shades, I have finally conclude that it was him. I have justified it when he jump off the jeepney in front of Puregold Jr. in Evacom, where his school is near.

I am late actually, but when I arrived in school, I was earlier than my teacher. I was so fortunate. The moment I saw Geralyn, I told her everything and she was like, "OMG!". Hahahaha!

Filipino. Reporting. I haven't reported yet because it's already time. :))

Next, we had our English make-up class. It was lead by Kia, Emmamae, Joseph, Leah and Ellen. It was a nice seminar .. they really feel like it. And .. ah .. it's fun but in the middle, kind of boring. Maybe it's because we are all hungry by that time.

Lunch Break. Geralyn and I went to McDonalds and we bought fries, her rice and a coke float. On our way to the store, I was opening up to her how I hate Jodi for being such a .. I don't know what to call it. I've really burst out , I mean .. I have really said everything that's bothering my head. I just can't handle the feeling anymore. Well, I became relaxed after that. It's really a good thing that you talk with someone. Upon returning to school, we ate and then we've chatted with Joyce and watched Eat Bulaga. Oh, I really hate the segment, Juan For All, All For Juan. Pinoy Henyo is what I like. :)))

After lunch, my plan to sleep was broken because I have to finish my assignment in Filipino, which by that time I am done yet but I'm half way through it. Second, I was chatting with Geralyn, Clay and Rodolf, and it was so fun. I missed them so much. Rodolf planned that we will be having our "gala" at the end of the semester. Well, I hope it's true. :)))

While talking, I was waiting for McKelvin. By the way, the whole day, I was joking that I like Mc Kelvin so much .. blah blah blah. Geralyn told me that I should stop because we don't fit to each other .. 'coz Mc is much .. so much taller than I. hahaha!

So while chatting with the guys, Mc approached me. I was asking him why and he just walk so fast, that I have to run his every step (of course he's a huge man, his steps are runs for me). he was serious. I thought he would confront me that he hates me because of what I say the whole day about us. But then, when we are on the main door, he told me that he was vomiting blood. We went to the c.r, yeah, believe it or not, I accompanied him in the male's comfort room. We are both there, but of course the door was widely open and I didn't do anything harmful to him. LOL. Then he asked me what do I think he's going through. I asked him if there's any part of his body that aches but he said none, and he has no illness except for his asthma. I told him to have a check up. I went back to our room to get him a drink and I returned there. I was so nervous that I can feel my internal organs shake. My hands are also ice cold. I worry about Mc so much. But thank God, he texted me a while ago and told me that the doctor said that he's ok and there's nothing to worry much about. :))

After Sociology, we are supposed to have our English make up class again but Ma'am wasn't around so we just had a meeting regarding our two plays, wherein, fortunately, I wasn't included. hahahaha!

During dismissal, Jodi asks me to join her and Wendy in going to SM, but I didn't. I want to go home straight because I am really tired. Good thing the movie marathon with Ellen and Geralyn was cancelled. :)) By the way, Geralyn and I were able to ride on the one and only airconditioned jeepney of Parañaque. it was such a nice experience. I mean, that jeepney is so hard to catch up, and we are just so fortunate to have it stop in front of us as soon as we finished crossing the street. :)) 

Well, this is all that happened today. Upon arriving home, as usual, I was alone ... and so tired. My parents and Sam arrived and are now asleep. I haven't slept yet because I've searched for pictures from my friends that I could use for our analysis in Psychology.

That's all for now, I have lots of things to share, but I'm so tired. :))) 

Let's all have a very nice sleep .. and may God be with us and spare us a nice dream. :)))

I'll talk to you if you'll talk to me. LOLzzzzz.... !


19 September 2011

Eto na nga ba'ng sinasabi ko e .. tsk.

Naks .. anlaki no. Anlaking katangahan ko nanaman kasi e .. hahaha! Oo, may crush ako .. ah .. hindi pala .. hindi pa pala confirmed. Feeling ko lang naman. Ayun.

So ayun na nga .. parang may crush na ko. Kasi naman e.. nakakainis! Para kasi akong tanga. Pero tulad nga ng sinabi ko .. hindi pa confirmed .. feeling ko papunta pa lang sa ganun pero .. ayokong mangyari yun. Kaya kailangan kong agapan kung ano man to ... kailangan ko ng mag-isip ng mga nakaka turn off na bagay tungkol sa kanya!!! LOL!! (isip-isip).

Para akong tanga no?? Parang ewan lang talaga. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko kasi ... ako .. dalawang pagkakataon lang ako nagkakagusto sa isang lalaki .. una, pag umamin siyang may gusto sa akin (syempre depende pa rin sa sinseridad) at pangalawa .. kapag inaasar ko ang sarili ko sa kanya. Takte, garantisado ... nagkakagusto talaga ako. Parang ewan lang talaga. Hindi ko naman sinasadya ... sabihin na nating nakakarma lang ako sa mga pinaggagagawa ko. Pero nakakainis kasi e. Parang tanga talaga. 

So ayun .. ayun na nga. Wala naman akong balak sabihin ito kahit kanino .. lalo pa't wala na akong well trusted friends ... itatago ko na lang ang bawat kilig sa sarili ko. Hahaha! Isa pa .. di pa nga confirmed .. at gagawan ko na ng paraan wag lang matuloy ... nakakahiya naman kasi sa taong yun . sabihin niya ... nako. crush ko siya. Eh hindi naman !! LOL!!!

Pero infairness .. gusto ko na rin na magkacrush sa kanya. Kasi dahil sa kanya .. nakalimutan ko si t0000000000t ,,, as in di ko naisip buong araw. Kaso mahirap na .. ayoko na uling masaktan e. Kaya .. nako habang maaga pa kailangan ko ng agapan .. mas ok ng walang pakiramdam kesa in love nga, nasasaktan naman. AYoko. Magpapakamanhid na lamang ako. hahahahahahha!!!!

Ahai ...

18 September 2011

Panaginip ni Wendy

Kanina.. pagbukas ko ng FB ang status ni Wendy .. may napanaginipan daw siya tapos sobrang masasaktan daw talaga siya pag nangyari yun sa totoong buhay. Then I asked her what is it all about. Sabi niya .. it's about Hadasa and Justin ... na nagkatuluyan daw sila .. parang ganun .. tapos parang invited pa siya ... ewan ko kung sa kasal or binyag ng anak. Tapos sabay sabi na .. "di naman talaga yun." tapos biglang binawi.

Well, I don't care about what really is it. I mean .. konsensya na niya yun if she'd tell me the truth or not. I'm after this... buti nga siya panaginip lang e .. ako .. araw araw naiisip ko na magkasama sila ..na silang sila na talaga .. at araw araw .. nasasaktan talaga ako .... That mine happens in reality .. she's fortunate (kung totoo man yun nga ang panaginip niya .. ahai.. ) kasi .. panaginip lang. Pero sabi ko sa kanya pwedeng mangyari yun sa totoong buhay kasi ok naman sina Dasa .. pero pag siya at si Justin imposible. hahahaha! Sama e no .. XD

Gonna pursue AB Evangelization .. Lord, help me! :)))

CHURCH is my COLLEGE. 
HEAVEN is my UNIVERSITY.

JESUS is my DEAN. 
THE HOLY SPIRIT is my PROFESSOR.

HOLY ANGELS are my CLASSMATES. 
THE BIBLE is my STUDY BOOK.

TRIAL & TEMPTATION are my EXAMS. 
SOULS WINNING are my ASSIGNMENTS. 
EVANGELISM is my THESIS.
PRAYER is my ATTENDANCE. 
CROWN OF LIFE is my DEGREE. 
LOVE ONE ANOTHER is my INSPIRATION.
PRAISE & WORSHIP is my MOTTO. :D

Alam mo naman ang sagot diba??

Kaninang umaga.. ang ganda ng gising ko. Basag agad ako .. you know .. I'm hurt. Tapos ayun ... inayos ko na yung kama ko .. then I saw my pillow .. yung regalo sakin ni Clay nung bday ko. It says there na .. "GAP - God answers prayers". Tapos bigla kong naisip ..  "God, you know what I want .. " and then suddenly biglang nag-pop sa isip ko yung pinag-usapan namin ni Ate Grace last Wednesday .. yung sabi ni Lord na .. "Alam mo naman ang sagot ko dyan diba?".. Ahay .. lalo tuloy akong na-emo kanina. Yeah right. For so long I have been praying for that one thing .. Sinabi ko pa nga na I would wait for that day .. pero now I realized that God has always been answering me .. and that's it. Ewan ko ba. Sabi nila .. if you have faith, if you visualize and believe what you want, no matter how it looks like impossible, it will still happen in God's time. Tapos sabi din nila nothing's impossible. But .. kahit na ganun .. there is still such thing as .. "It won't happen .. NEVER." ..



16 September 2011

Yung feeling na ..

Biglang sumikip ang dibdib mo..
Na para bang nawalan ka bigla ng hangin sa lungs mo ...
Yung tipong lahat ng laway mo umurong ...
Yung biglang tutulo luha mo tapos titingin ka sa kisame para lang di matuloy...
Yung may kung anong kirot sa puso ...

Ang nakakatawa dito, yung nakita mo e inaasahan mo ..
Pero ang reaksyon mo .. para bang hindi mo naisip man lang na makita yun.




--------------------------------------o0o-------------------------------------------------

Ouch na ouch na ouch again. But I'm happy. Super blessed talaga sila ngayon .. :))

Makatulog na nga. Kung ano ano pa kasi ang binuksan ko .. ayan tuloy .. ahay .. I'll pray for them na lang .. and I'll pray for myself ...:))

jealous of the one who finally have him .. :'(