Would you stay???

Yeah ..I'm actually waiting for us to be together .. which isn't going to happen .. ever. :/

Are you going to take the risk???

True right? Again, reality strikes. Why is it that friendship builds up love, but it's so hard to still hold on to the friendship after the ruined love?

But well, this doesn't work always ... I mean .. there are some who still wins friendship after love. But nonetheless, most of us experience this fact .. and no one can escape the bite of this actuality.

Wala natawa lang ako. May katext kasi ako .. isang dating kaibigan .. ayun .. pinag uusapan namin yung difference ng 'naalala' at 'naiisip'. Tapos ayun .. nagfe-facebook ako e .. tapos nung biglang inilipat ko sa tab ng blog kong ito .. ito ang tumambad sakin. As in saktong sakto. KINALIMUTAN NA KITA. Adik lang e. hahahaha! Tamang tama lang. Ahai .. Makatulog na nga .. anong oras na o .. tsk. Makakatulog nanaman ako nito habang nag eexam.

Friends are real. They exist.

Naiiyak ako. Kasi naman tong si Rox .. ayun .. bigla ba naman akong chinat sa facebook .. sabi ba naman .. "Kamusta? mis you! muah .. ! lab u! " O diba? sino ba namang di maiiyak?? Feeling ko tuloy mamamatay na talaga ako .. kasi nagpaparamdam na yung mga kaibigan ko tapos ayun. Ayun na nga. Para bang miss na miss nga nila ako. Pero nakaka-touch ah. Kasi naman diba ... wala lang. Sakto kasi .. sa mga panahong nag-eemote ako .. dun pa .. dun pa sila magsasabi ng ganyan .. nakakaiyak talaga .. Nakakaiyak isipin na kahit na maraming tao ang gusto na kong patayin dahil sa mga sinasabi nilang di magagandang bagay .. mayroon pa rin akong mga kaibigang nagpapaalala sakin na marami man silang galit sa kin .. mahal naman nila ako .. :)

The reason behind my tears ..

Yeah. I know right?!

Memory Lane

Have you remembered a time when you happen to be in a place and then suddenly remembering that memory you have buried a long time ago? It sucks isn't it. Yeah .. well, it happens. It always happens.

My current school for me is one of the best place to describe this. I have this old friend (yeah, he's old. literally) that has been my classmate for a semester. We've been .. a .. I don't know if we're good friends but .. at least we're friends. LOL. And well, now that we're not close anymore (how sad) .. I have to forget everything that happened before. But because as I have said on my other post, I am so attached to those I call my friends. So whenever I came to cross on places somewhere in our school .. even a chair .. reminds me of him. It really sucks. I never liked the feeling of missing someone .. knowing the fact that they never ever miss you back. But well .. 'memory lanes' are still good things .. it's sad but .. at least they remind you that something, somewhere, somehow, for quite sometime .. a good and a happy memory happened.

Are we FRIENDS?? Sure??

I have lots of companions and acquaintances .. but not friends. Most of the time, people misunderstood me. Like, one friend of mine told me that he is confused with the girls I'm always with in school because I always tell him that we quarrel and they're not my friends. He told me that we're always together so we're all friends, but I insisted that we're not. 

When I was younger, I have always been open for everyone .. even someone I have only chatted with for a while, I call her a friend. But one time, I have this one classmate whom I have always been with everyday .. we shared everything .. and so I have actually coined her as my best friend. Then one day, she confronted me .. really .. and told me that we're not friends and I am so stupid that I didn't know that. it made me feel so sad that I came to promise myself that I will choose very carefully those people that I will call my friends. 

So now, I still live with this promise .. and I don't regret it. As time goes by .. I realize that I really have to sort out my friends. But ironically, I often meet people now who easily call me their friends and it bothers me. I become shocked when I hear words like, "We're friends right?" .. I don't know how to respond especially when that person has never been in my list. Well, when this happens, I often say .. "Ah.. " and then, I smile.

Well, even if I sort out friends or not, I still haven't found the perfect and true one. I mean, yeah, no one's perfect, but at least I wish I could have a friend like that on the movies who are very supportive, always ready to talk and listen .. ah .. how I wish. But I have those people whom I call my friends .. not too many .. just enough to make me hurt. But even if they hurt me and I do as well, I love them.. because they are my friends.

Only one problem with me is that when I finally called someone my friend, I attach myself to him so much that when he or she leaves me, it's as if I had someone who died. Really. I care so much for those I call my friends .. but I don't know if they feel the same way too. But I really admit .. I'm really having a hard time to call someone my friend, but when I do .. of course I inform them and I make sure they agree because if not .. then it all ends there.

So when people ask me .. "Are you friends? or What relationship do you have?" I simply answer them according to the hierarchy. LOL.

-chat mate

-acquaintance

-classmate/schoolmate/neighborhood

-friend

-best friend/boyfriend

-family

There it goes! haha!

Eto pa o !!! Love it !! :D

Love it! :))

Isn't it ironic?

Alam mo ba yun ?? :D

Ako .. di kita napapanaginipan .. naiisip kita lagi.

Naalala ko nung isang day before na sabi niya napapanaginipan niya daw ako. Super kinilabutan ako nun .. hahahaha! Nasa kusina pa nga ako nun e .. tapos nung sinabi niya yun natigilan ako. Tapos naalala ko rin ngayon yung gabing sinabi niya .. syempre di same date to .. matagal na after yung first incident .. nung sinabi niya na di na niya ko napapanaginipan. Ahay ...

I MATTER!

Pain in my ♥

Here I am alone in this empty room,
And let my mind just fly you to the end.
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair.

I could still recall, those memories of you,
The joy and all your laughter,
The love that we've been through.
Oh I can't believe, you're gone...

I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

Talkin' to my self, for reasons I can't find.
Findin' out why everything went wrong.
Tears fallin' down on my cheeks,
That I've been tryin' to hold.
I just dunno if I could still go on.

I wanted you to stay,
The tears began to show,
You said you care for me,
But then you have to go
And now I know, you're gone.

I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

(Instrumental)

I just can't believe, you're gone...

I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart,

And I don't want to remember,
The things we used to do,
All the things that remind me of you.
I don't want to hear those songs,
Those songs we used to sing,
'Cause I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

Leaving Yesterday Behind - Keno

Since you left me, I never really tried
To put my life to where it should belong
And I've always let the past gone by
I'm realizing that it could be wrong

But now I fin'lly knew
I had to let it go
To make way for a brighter tomorrow

So now I'm leavin' yesterday behind
And fin'lly I've made up my mind
So let the mem'ries stay away
And think about today
I'm leavin' yesterday behind
'Cause now I'll try to live my life once more
The way I did before

Since I know that I never will forget
The memories that made my yesterday
I will try not to let it interfere
The choices I will make along the way

'Cause I'm not livin' in a world of fantasy
I'm here now in the world of reality

So now I'm leavin' yesterday behind
And fin'lly I've made up my mind
So let the mem'ries stay away
And think about today
I'm leavin' yesterday behind
'Cause now I'll try to live my life once more
The way I did before

So now I'm leavin' yesterday behind
And fin'lly I've made up my mind
So let the mem'ries stay away
And think about today
I'm leavin' yesterday behind
'Cause now I'll try to live my life once more
Just the way I did before

I miss you ..

:'( Yeah .. I always miss those people I had with me before .. But I do not agree that it's a proof that I am a good person. I actually had hurt them that's why they left me .. and .. even if I care for them so much still after them hurting me back, it's non sense.

Lord, I Offer My Life To You ...

Are you gonna wait for me???

So sweet. How I wish I have a friend like Patrick or Spongebob. This is what I like most in this cartoon... the value of friendship and good actions towards other people .. even if they are hurting you. Hay ...

Nice, Gary! XDDDDD

The Ideal BF

Wow .. perfectly and very well said. hahahaha! Ideal BF. Wala naman ako nun .. kasi naman kung magseset ako ng standards tulad nito .. mahuhurt lang ako pag di ko nakuha. Pero well nung nabasa ko to .. kind of .. nag-agree ako .. astig e .. except for number one .. papalitan ko .. Someone who won't mind if I don't eat too much. hahahaha! Meron kayang ganito? Friend nga na ganito wala e .. BF pa kaya. hai ...

Happy Birthday Mama Mary !!!!

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've sent him a message .. a .. a quote .. a yummy quote. And ah .. ah .. ah .. I'm scared. Scared to death. Swear. Lord, I'd sleep na .. :)))

Prayer For A Friend

This was such a nice song .. tinype ko nga sa cp ko yung ilang lines e .. I want to send it to my friends .. :)) 

For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. - Newton

Dapat lang.

Sometimes, GOODBYE is painful way to say I LOVE YOU ..

Ten ways to love

Be yourself.

Friendship Day

Ang cute nila no .. hahaha! Oo .. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY ngayon. 1st year anniversary nga e. Friendship day namin ni Bro. Sabi niya kasi dati Sept.7 kami naging magkaibigan .. pero hindi talaga ako sure dito no. Pero at least diba may date. hahaha. Ayun na nga friendship day .. gusto ko sana siyang batiin kaso .. 

1. Syempre .. di na tulad ng dati. Di ko na siya pwedeng itext ng wala lang .. nakakahiya naman maiistorbo ko pa .. tapos baka sabihin nanaman nun sinasayang ko oras niya. 

2. Para kong tanga lang .. masyado kong kinakarir diba .. sabihin pa nun ang feeler ko.

3. Hindi na siya nagtext ulit simula nung Wed, nung umattend ako dun sa outreach niya sa Pulanglupa. Syempre bakit nga naman diba?? ahai. Eh ayun na nga .. nakakahiya naman kung bigla kong itetext ngayon diba tapos ganito lang pala ang sasabihin ko.

4. Hindi nga siya nagtext ... so it means wala sa isip niya to .. ibig sabihin talaga .. ako lang mukhang tanga na nagse-celebrate dito. hahahaha!!!

5. Higit sa lahat .. HINDI NA KAMI FRIENDS NGAYON .. BAKA NGA DI NAMAN TALAGA KAMI NAGING FRIENDS E.

Ayun lang naman. hahahaha! Di naman ako emotera .. wala lang naman sakin .. hahaha. Wala lang pero nag-post e no?? XD Pero gusto ko talaga siya itext .. yun bang kamusta lang para naman di niya isipin na magtetext lang ako pag magtatanong sa kanya. Pero kasi .. natatakot talaga akong malaman nanaman ang mga sasabihin niya. Swear. Tsaka lalo na pag binanggit ko pa tong friendship day na to .. baka maloka ako sa magiging komento niya .. ang mga preacher pa naman ansasama .. di maingat sa words. Pero ganun talaga. Ahai.

Titingnan ko .. may ilang oras pa naman ako bago matapos ang Sept. 7 e. Mahina kasi ako sa sign e .. Kainis. Pero basta .. ganito .. pag lumabas siya sa list ng friends ko sa profile ko sa Facebook .. magtetext ako .. hanggang 12 midnight lang o hanggang mag offline lang ako a .. pag wala edi ok. :)) Pero kung meron?? Patay. Be ready. Nakakatakot ang words.

Di bale .. basta .. HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!! :))))

Cellphone. ♥

Cellphone nga naman .. ang daming nagagawa. Isang maliit at simpleng bagay .. pero kung kontrolin ang buhay ng tao .. tinalo pa ang remote sa pagkontrol ng telebisyon. Hindi ko alam kung magagalit ako sa bagay na ito o matutuwa ako .. kasi naman .. andami niyang nasisirang buhay pero .. tingin ko naman hindi pa rin siya dapat sisihin. Kasi bagay lang siya at tao pa rin ang nagpapagana sa kanya .. kaya kasalanan na ng tao kung magpapaalipin sa kanya diba?? Tsaka isa pa .. lahat naman nakikinabang sa kanya .. at higit sa lahat .. sumasaya. Tama diba?? Parang ako lang e. Nang dahil sa cellphone naramdaman ko ang ligaya ng pag-ibig. O diba .. ayos. hahaha. Nang dahil sa cellphone . .. naging malapit ako sa mga taong di ko akalaing magiging kaibigan ko .. yun nga lang .. dahil din dito o ito rin ang naging daan para wakasan ang mga nabubuong relasyon. Pero ayos lang ..ganun talaga ang buhay. Sa huli .. cellphone pa rin siya .. bagay. Isang bagay na tumatanggap ng mga tawag at mensahe para sakin .. ang bagay na nagtatago ng numero na nagpapaalala sakin sa mga taong malapit sa puso ko .. at ang bagay na dapat kong hanapin ngayon para burahin ang mga nabanggit ko. :D

Aminin !!!

Sus .. pakipot pa nga si girl ... tsk.

Depression eats me again. I need someone to talk to. I need you.

I just love this blog. (click on the title) I was searching for photos about being depressed .. because lately, I have been going through it again. And then I stumbled here .. and know what? It was really nice. Yeah. posts are triggering .. but captions are inspiring. It helps .. not too much but at least it helps relieve something inside. The messages actually made me cry. It's as if God was talking to me, as if He's telling me that someone out there cares and loves me .. and it's none other than Him. I am near to giving up again ... making plans of punishing myself for being such a stupid gal. I hate myself so much .. and I don't know how will I face tomorrow. I want to hide. I am ashamed. I am a total trash. 

What's good also is that whenever these things ran on my mind .. many people suddenly appear .. people who are not expected to comment and message me .. that I can. That I am strong. That the "I" they knew doesn't give up. If only they really know. If only I could tell them. But I know they won't understand. They will only judge me. .. and that's what I fear. 

I don't like this feeling of emptiness.. loneliness.. being depressed. It swallows me whole .. I can't breathe. I barely see light. I only see myself .. alone in darkness .. struggling against something or someone I don't see .. but I feel. I feel .. the hatred .. the anger .. for myself. I hate myself so much .. I am worthless .. I am nothing but a big trash in the lives of those that I care about. If only I'd die .. their burdens will be lighter. I hate myself ... so much. 

Hay nako .. eto nanaman ako .. HB nanaman kay Wendy. Actually kahapon pa to e. 

Kasi naman .. kahapon asa Le Colonial kami nila Bro. Je at Geralyn .. tapos dumating siya .. para mag inarte. And what's worst, nung kinakausap ko siya . di man lang ako pinapansin. Kapal ng mukha e. Tapos ang nakakainis pa .. at the end of our session ... siya pa ang nakasama ko .. and I have to calm down myself para naman di masira ang gabi ko knowing that I'm in a place where people worship God. So kinalimutan ko na ang hard feelings ko. And then now .. grabe. nag-joke lang ako na 'take care your face' kasi sabi niya may sakit siya and she's asking me to take care of her .. grabe a . grabe makareact. Kapal talaga e. 

What I hate most about her? Napaka .. napaka .. hai. Di ko maintindihan. Ang arte arte niya. Napaka sensitive. Napakababaw. Buti sana kung cute tingnan e .. at buti sana kung maganda siya .. I'm sorry pero masama talaga ako .. I just simply hate her .. from head to toe. ayun lang naman. 

Tapos kagabi .. she told me na .. alam naman niya at tanggap niya na ayaw ko sa kanya. Well .. at least she knows. :)))

I know after this .. siya nanaman ang biktima . siya nanaman ang kinawawa ko. And like what Geralyn said .. pabayaan ko na lang ang sasabihin ng ibang tao .. tutal kahit anong gawin ko ako pa rin naman ang masama .. edi panindigan ko na .. ahai ...

Walang 'real you'.

Ito ang isa sa mga pinaka hindi ko malilimutan sa mga sinabi ni Sir Celeste. Walang REAL YOU. Hindi natin dapat sabihing, "hindi ako ito, di mo pa nakikita ang tunay na ako". Bakit? Kasi ayon kay Sir, kung ano ka at sino ka nung time na yun ... ikaw talaga yun. At dahil iba ibang tao ang na-e-encounter natin araw-araw, hindi maaaring may iisang pag-uugali lang tayo na ipapakita sa lahat ng yun .. ang ugali at pagkatao ng isang tao ay nagbabago depende sa sitwasyon at kung sinong tao ang kasama niya.

For example, iba ako pag kasama ko mga classmate ko nung high school, iba pag kasama ko mga classmates ko nung nasa Muntinlupa pa ako at iba rin pag kasama ko ang mga kaklase ko ngayon. Hindi iyon dahil may itinatago akong tunay na ako .. kundi nung mismong oras o panahon na yun .,, yun talaga ako. Kaya di natin masasabi na meron tayong fixed 'us'. Kung pagsasama-samahin ang lahat, iyon ang bumubuo satin .. pero hindi pa rin natin ito matatawag na ma-e-enclose sa tawag na 'tunay na ako' dahil ang lahat ay nagbabago.

Agree ako kay Sir. Dati madalas kong sabihin sa sarili ko at sa ibang tao na .. 'ibang ako ang kilala mo ngayon .. yung tunay na ako di mo pa alam.. ' ngayon.. di ko na sinasabi yan .. kasi isa yang malaking kalokohan.

You are changing every minute, every second. You are not the same person as your are earlier..

echosera lang. XD

Bat lagi kitang namimiss??? daya naman o.. para namang ako miss mo .. tsk. unfair!!

Bert - An Adorable Family Animation by Moonsung Lee

Mariza (The Stubborn Donkey) - Cute Aniboom Cartoon by Constantine Kryst...

Dog and the Butcher -Aniboom Animation

The Piano - Amazing Short - Animation by Aidan Gibbons, Music by Yann Ti...

Behind Closed Doors - A Monstrous Aniboom Animation by Button Films

The Look of Love - Romantic Animation by Lindsay Thompson

Clocktower - Cute animation

One Life - Amazing Animation by Corey Hayes (Song is "Old Man" by Neil Y...

Saying Sorry - A Cute Aniboom Animation

Out to Play (with a Magic Box) - A Funny Animation by Jessica Lozano

"Heavenly Appeals" a short film by David Lisbe

two less lonely people in the world

A Day Made of Glass... Made possible by Corning.

I do this. XD

Lifehouse - Whatever It Takes

Life house-You and Me

Gusto ko tong panuorin .. :D

Matchbox Twenty - Unwell (Video)

DEAR FATHER, we know that JESUS CHRIST is Your only provision for our sins. Through JESUS, we can know and experience Your love and plan for our lives. We deserve to pay for our sin and know that payment should be death. Because of Your love for us, You sent JESUS to die in our place so we would not die separated from You. Amen.

nakakainis kaya!hahaha!

Yung feeling na
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ang crush moh may crush na iba..
pinakamasakit kaibigan mo pa!

ANG HIRAP BURAHIN ANG MGA TEXT
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LALO NA KUNG KAY CRUSH NANGGALING.

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kaso minsan kailangan ng burahin .. kasi pag paulit ulit mong babasahin .. lalo ka lang nitong paaasahin. XD

sarap!

Yung feeling na..
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nagtapat sa'yo si CRUSH! :">

gawain niya to ah. hahaha!

Kapag maingay ang Girlfriend mo...
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Takpan mo ang bibig niya, nang bibig mo.

oo nga!!!!!!!!

Isusulat ko sa maraming bato na MAHAL
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Tapos ibabato ko sayo para malaman mo Kung gaano kasakit na mahalin ka!

Parang ngayon lang.

YUNG FEELING NA..

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Ang dami mong ASSIGNMENTS/RESEARCH PAPERS pero mas una mong ita-type ang FACEBOOK kesa kay Google xD

magawa nga minsan . XD

Paano malalaman kung gusto ka ng CRUSH mo?
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I-kiss mo siya. Kapag tumagal, gusto ka din niya. Kapag hindi, okay lang. At least naka isa. >:)))

ouch again.

Kaya mo nasasabi na binabalewala ka ng isang tao kasi,
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iniisip mo na mahalaga ka sakanya..
kahit hndi naman talaga.

DEAR FATHER, we come humbly to You today. Bless our steps! Thank you that Jesus took all of our sin on Himself and completely paid for it. The Just died for the Unjust so that He might bring us close to You. Jesus saved us, not because of righteous things we did, but because of Your Mercy. We want to be closer to You Father! Amen! ♥